Welcome And The Brutal Premise

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Yo, welcome back to the Feather Your Lifestyle Podcast Conversations on Lifestyle, Passions, and Hustles. My name's Chris. I am your host, and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you, episode 72 today. And I wanted to kind of like zoom out from all the conversations we've been having over the last year, if even if not longer, and kind of just come to you with 15 brutal truths that I think you need to hear today. Now, this is just as much as a message to myself that it is to anyone that is listening to this. And it's not here to tell you're failing, or it's not here to tell you that you're not good enough. It's the opposite. It's here to give you some troops to hopefully inspire, motivate, encourage, and keep you honest. It's look, it might make you uncomfortable. Some of these may kind of dig at you or piss you off a little bit even. But I think it's really important because they're going to be things that will give you the reality check that maybe you'll realize you're avoiding things, or maybe it would just be a little bit of an eye-opener. And when I went through and put these together, I thought these are great, these are solid, and they're very important. So it's 15 brutal truths that I think everyone needs to hear today. If you enjoy this episode, you can hit like, you can hit subscribe, you can even continue the conversation down in the comments below. You can share this with someone else and maybe tell them they need to hear these brutal truths as well. So we're gonna dive straight into this, we're gonna roll the intro and uh yeah, buckle up for a brutal reality check. So number

Take Ownership And Start Moving

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one is nobody is coming. And I think this is I mean, look, it might not be the hardest, but I think it is the bluntest, straight up straight here, that nobody is coming to give you permission, nobody is coming to magically discover your potential, no one is coming to make you feel disciplined or make you disciplined, and no one is here to create the opportunity for you. And no one is here to live your life for you either. People can help you, here I am, we're talking about these kind of things to keep it real, keep it honest, and people can support you, the people around you. I'm here trying to support others to further their lifestyle by doing this podcast. And people can open doors for you, they can give you the opportunity to potentially do something, but ultimately you are responsible from actually taking action. So and I don't think that that's a bad thing. I think it's just the reality that when you realize that as you get older in life, because when we first start in living, you know, we are very dependent on others. And it's not probably till you're 13, 14, 15, sometimes earlier for others due to circumstances, we really have to start taking responsibility for our actions and to actually get the things that we want and being accountable and yeah, having that responsibility. So I think it's very empowering to know that the sooner we can learn this, the further we can get ahead quicker. Because if nobody is coming, you don't have to wait around anymore, right? So the sooner we can kind of get that locked in, the sooner you're actually going to be able to get closer to where you want to be. Number two, you're probably already sorry. Number two is you probably already know what you need to do. I think this is a really one close one that I'm sorry, it hits home to it hits close to home for me because when I know I need to do things, I try and like go around it, I avoid it, I I I go do something else that makes me feel productive. But the reality is we love looking for something else that has to be done than the thing that we need to do. Maybe it's another read another book or do another thing or research a little bit more, or I need to finish that before I can start doing this. But we make all these little excuses, but sometimes it's not about, oh we we need to know more, or we need to do more before we do what we need to do. A lot of the time is we just need to make the call, we just need to go do the decision, we need to go for the walk, we need to start the thing, we need to send the email, or we need to just sign it off or have the conversation. I think we can sometimes create an excuse that knowledge is the bottleneck of why we aren't actually making progress when really it comes down to this simple action. I mean, knowledge is going to give you the ability and confidence to go do something, but when it comes to actually doing something, if you ain't doing anything, well then the knowledge is irrelevant. And I think it's the brutal truth that you have to face that sometimes the best way that you can actually start to make progress is by starting to make progress. It's very simple, but that's the reality of it. Number three, you are not entitled to the outcome just because you've worked hard. Now this one sucks, this one's a bit unfair. But the reality is you can work incredibly hard, you can care deeply, you can do everything right and still lose. That's sometimes how the world works. Unfortunately, effort does not guarantee necessarily outcomes, but effort does and will give you experience, it will give you capacity or capability, it will give you knowledge, it will give you resilience, and another opportunity to be able to pivot, adjust, or try again. The work is never wasted, it just becomes the outcome that you want. You get an outcome you maybe you didn't want. But I think when we zoom out, those outcomes that we get that we thought we didn't want lead us to outcomes in the long run that we do want because we're able to reflect and learn. So that this is why I get, well, used to get, and I still do get annoyed when I see other people not having to do as much work as I'm doing, or that I feel like I'm doing, I feel like I'm doing more work than them, yet they're getting a better outcome. Now, sometimes that is also because of just situational situations, like that they've just had a better opportunity, or they've got a better connection, or they've been doing it longer, so they've got better experience. But there's a lot of nuance behind what we can't see, right? I can share a highlight reel and you don't know that I might be dealing with something else because I haven't shared that. So there's always things we we don't know, and it doesn't necessarily mean they're not working hard, but sometimes people can make it look completely different to the reality of what it is. So I'm not saying you shouldn't work hard, but the reality is sometimes you're hard might be someone else's easy, or it's just doesn't work that way. You can work as hard as you want doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to get the result you want. But you will be able to gain those those different skill sets that enable you to then work towards getting the result you want. Number four. It's

Self Made Problems And False Readiness

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gonna take a while, folks. Number four, some of your problems are being created by you. Not all of them, but some of them. We are the problem. Life will absolutely throw curveballs at us and things that we didn't ask for, things that are out of our control. But some of our frustration or some of our issues will come from the decisions we keep avoiding, from the boundaries we won't put in place, from the habits, the habits we keep repeating, the bad habits we keep repeating, expectations we refuse to adjust on, or situations we continue tolerating. All of these things, they're on you, they're on me. We need to be the ones to actually make those circumstances change. We are the variable that needs to change. Number five, you don't need to feel ready, right? A lot of the time, you probably won't be ready. Confidence isn't necessarily an entry requirement. Experience won't always be the entry requirement either. I mean, when I started a business, when I started this podcast, I didn't have the experience of doing a podcast. I didn't have an experience of running my business that I run the way now, but I had maybe sold a laptop or computer as a side gig or as a hobby. I had attempted small other different businesses, but not at the capacity or in the world that I was doing it. And knowing exactly what you're doing isn't also a true comment. And this is why it's sometimes important to understand the difference between what do you want versus how do I get it? Because a lot of the time it just really comes down to willingness and action to then experience to then capacity to then possibility. You discover what you're capable of by participating in doing the experience or doing the work or making progress or putting in the reps, not by waiting around for something. Number six, your excuses can be completely valid and will still keep you stuck. I love this because even if your excuses are true and things are s sappy, things aren't good, you're too busy, you lack experience, you have less money, or that it's bad timing, or you're scared, or you have responsibilities. Welcome to life. Like all these things matter, like they're very important, but what are you going to do despite them? Like, what are you going to do anyway? Right? When times get tough, i you either don't do it or you do it. That's your choice. So people live with excuses every day. People live with challenges every day. People live with things that they have to overcome every day, yet they're still able to produce the results that you're unable to produce because you are not willing, or because you let the excuses suck you in. Number seven, nobody thinks about you as much as you think about they do.

Stop Performing And Want More

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Right? Nobody thinks about you as much as you think they do, right? You're worried you'll look stupid, you're worried that you'll fail publicly, you're worried that you'll say the wrong thing, you're worried that maybe you'll embarrass yourself. Meanwhile, most people are thinking the same things about themselves. They're not thinking about you, you're not really that important. However, on the contrary, I will say that sometimes if people don't know anything about you, they likely won't care anything about you. If you do put yourself out there, like on a podcast or on a YouTube, people will feel entitled that they can now tell you what they think about you. Even though they don't know anything really about you. But that that's a different conversation. The point here is the imaginary audience in your head probably is stopping you from actually making the progress you need to because you're more worried about what they're thinking about you when most of the time they don't care, go look stupid, get out there, give it a try, give it a shot. Every person has started at the start, and every person has probably looks like that clown or that newbie or that beginner. That is okay. And stop everyone else. Number eight, you can be grateful and still want more. And I think this is okay. I'm happy, but I'm not satisfied kind of thing. Wanting growth doesn't mean you're ungrateful. I think you can love where you are in your life, you can love your job and you can still want to improve it. You can be proud about these things and still be unsatisfied. You can celebrate how far you've come and still wonder how far could you go. So I think contentment and ambition don't have to be enemies. I think it's important to reflect on these things and keep you honest and reflect in the rewards of how far you have come, but let it inspire and motivate you to get after what else you want. Like some people will think, oh, you've got too much, why would you want more? It's like, well, that's your journey. Where you're going in your journey is your journey, where they're going in theirs, and what they think is worth enough for them is them, right? You do need to be mindful that you don't let it consume you, all consuming. But I think it's important to have that purpose and that goal and that ambition that you're going after, because that is what give you that that essence and drive to go forward. What got you here may be exactly what's stopping you from getting there. And I think this is important because a lot of the time we assume that if I keep doing everything the same, then it will get to the result. But there are older versions of ourselves with habits, beliefs, identity, and I guess survival mechanisms which may have served us well in a period of time, but you do still need to be asking yourself, is this going to help me get closer to where I want to be? The next version of myself? Does this still serve the person I'm becoming? Who I want to be, is this going to help me get there? So sometimes you will need to leave the old to get the new. And sometimes, yeah, you need to keep doing what's working, but sometimes you also need to pivot and adjust and be willing to leave an outdated version of yourself behind to become that better version of yourself. Number 10 now, we're almost there.

Boring Consistency And Real Resilience

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Most success is incredibly boring. I love this because there was we did an episode not that long ago where I had a comment from someone saying it's like, dude, I'm so repetitive. It's boring, kind of basically is the premise of it. I I think what's important is a lot of the time people see the outcome, the end result, and that's what gets as a highlight reel, and people think, Wow, how did you do it? And then you show them what you do, and it's like, okay, well, long-term success has looked like I'm doing it, I'm learning, I'm adjusting, I'm doing it again, I'm learning again, I'm adjusting again, I'm doing it again, I'm doing it again, and I'm still adjusting and I'm doing it again for years and years or over long periods of time, and compounding will be boring. If a lot of the time the people that are making really good bank in shares are there being consistent, they're just continuing to deposit, they're letting it compound, letting it grow over a long period of time. But if you don't put the money in there, how's it going to grow? So that's really what it is. Now, if you're constantly looking for excitement, then maybe it's not going to be for you. But I think the excitement comes with learning, adjusting, learning, adjusting, because you level up, you become a better version of yourself every single time. So it is there, but I guarantee you it's going to be a lot of repetition, and a lot of people will struggle with it and think it's boring. That's okay. Number 11. You can't control everything, but you own your response. So you can't control situations, but you can control how you react to the situation. Markets will change, people will change, plans will fail, opportunities will change, life happens. It gets in the way. It's a guarantee. And resilience isn't pretending that those things don't matter. Like it's more about asking, given the reality I'm in, what can I do next? What's the next step? So ownership isn't believing everything is your fault, it's refusing to surrender all of your agency and giving up because it's all too hard. If I'd given up every time things got hard, well, we wouldn't be here. I've had to continue to pivot, I've had to continue to adjust. And there's been new challenges, there's been market changes, there's been people changes, plans have failed, opportunities have changed, life has gotten in the way, yet if I want what I want, then I have to be willing to do the response that's going to get me there, which is sometimes the harder decision, the harder choice, the better of two evils, kind of thing. That's the reality of it. I mean, there's nothing else I can say there. Number 12, you're going to disappoint people when you start choosing for yourself. How dare you choose for yourself? Not everyone's going to understand your priorities, your boundaries, your ambition, your decisions, your life, your building. That's okay. They do not matter, right? You can listen to people, you can respect people, you can love people, and still decide that's not the life I want. Some people will listen to this. You don't like this. That's okay. That's not the life you want. And you don't need everybody to understand your direction for it to be right for you. So I think that's a very fair game. I think what's not fair is when people do put it on other people to live the life they want to live, when we don't want to live their life. Now, I understand that could sound like, well, that's a little bit oxymoron, Chris, because here you are telling people how to further their lifestyle. I'm sharing. I'm sharing how I further my lifestyle, I'm sharing the ways that we can look at this in a different perspective. I'm sharing of the ways that you can further your lifestyle, but you have to take it in any single way that you want to take it. If you want to take it this way, sure. If you don't agree with this, sure. That's on you, right? Like, I mean, it's not for everyone. I'm not here to say you should do it this way because this is the only way. What I'm saying is these are the things we need to think about. And if it's relevant to you of where you are in your journey, then this might be the answer you need. And if that helps you get to where you want to be, then hey, I'm doing my job. That's all that matters for me. Number 13. The life

Status Traps And The Time Horizon

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that looks impressive isn't necessarily the life you'll enjoy living. And the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Money matters, money's great, money's important, achievement matters, recognition can feel great. But you gotta be careful about building your life around somebody else's scoreboard. Because status can't guarantee peace, it can't guarantee purpose, relationships, freedom, ownership, or even meaning. What you do need to ask yourself is, do I want this or do I want people to see me having this? And that's a very different question. That's why I find it funny when people beg out or challenge my business and the way I do my business, saying, Oh, it's not worth it. I'm earning more money than you. Why would I go do this? And it's like, well, you're not doing this. So why would you do this in the first place? Like, this isn't what you want to do, so why would you why would this even matter to you? If you were doing exactly the same thing as me, then sure. Happy days. Like, to me, that that makes complete sense. But I love the backseat drivers and the people that always tried to control other people's reality. And I actually listened to a video from a girl and she came out of the gym and she she was wearing a gym fit and it wasn't really much. And some lady was to her, it's like, well, geez, aren't you cold? Like, why are you wearing that? It's cold out. And she's like, No, fine, like, I'm not cold. If I was cold, I would wear a jumper, I would put a jumper on. And the lady was like, Oh, she was a bit taken back by it, like, you shouldn't be doing this, or put some clothes on, or put a jumper on. And little did the lady know, because I mean it's none of her business anyway, that the girl has just finished doing a spin glass. She's hot as heck because she's been working out for the last 30, 40 minutes, and she's gonna go hop in a car and head on home. But there's a level of detail there which is irrelevant to the person that's interruptly just kind of projected her thoughts of how you should be living onto her. So, like, there's always going to be people like that. That's the reality of it. Hence the reality of these points. Number 14, we're almost there. Five years are going to pass whether you act or not. We did an episode on this recently. You could bring this down to the time's gonna pass anyway. So people say, Oh, I want this, but okay, well, what are you gonna do about it for the next one year, two years, five years kind of thing. If you want something in five years, the time will pass anyway. So, what are you doing to make sure you get there? If you imagine yourself in five years from today, whether you start, wait, try, hide, learn, or procrastinate, the time is going to pass anyway. So this is why I find it I'm very bullish on what I do, because we've been doing our business, we're in our sixth year, we haven't finished our sixth year, and we're doing a we're on track to probably do a $750,000 business this year. And we first started the first year, we did like, I think it was $56,000. So that compounding effect to me outweighs so much. It's not about what you can achieve in one year. It's very hard to achieve 10 years in one year. But what you can achieve in 10 years you might not have even dreamed of being able to achieve because we sometimes get so focused, oh, there's plenty of time, there's plenty of time, but it's the compounding effect that gives you the results. Getting croaky. Jeez. So you need to use time to your advantage. You need to leverage your time. And the last one, you have far less figured out than you think, and more potential than you realize. This is such a great one. And this is I mean, it's a good one to leave you with as well. I mean, we're all still trying to figure this out at the same time, but the person you admire is figuring it out. The people that you look up to are still figuring it out. The successful people, the confident ones, the ones that are up there, the ones that are in the news, the ones that we admire, our mentors, the ones that we wish to aspire to be like, they're still figuring it out. You don't need to have the entire map figured out. You just need to have enough courage, enough understanding to explore the next bit of an uncharted world, an uncharted map that you've never been on. You can't possibly know your full capacity from where you're currently standing. You don't know what you're capable of, only from what you've done capably, right? So if you try something else, you think, oh, this isn't too bad. You can learn and your capacity will grow. It will continue to grow, right? You you have to move, you have to try, you have to gain that experience, you have to be willing to grow, you have to get out there and take the first step. And eventually, things that you thought were impossible or too hard or just not worth it will become your new normal.

Final Challenge And Next Week Tease

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So I think my final challenge for everyone here is like maybe all these 15 things aren't super relevant for everyone. Maybe there's one or two. And I think whichever one stood out to the most is the thing I think you need to jump on and just really get to work on. The one that you challenge about the most, the one that makes you feel most uncomfortable, that's probably the one that you need to sit down and ask yourself, I guess, this point. If I genuinely accepted this as a truth or a reality, what would I do differently tomorrow? And go about actually seeing what you can do. Right? And the the value of all of this will only kind of appear when one of these truths changes what you do. And it's not about that I've got all this and I figured it out and it's the right answers. There's going to be hundreds more brutal truths that we can go through. My point is, these were just ones over the last few episodes, over the last six months, that I thought were super relevant just to kind of like combine it all up and hit you with a little bang. And for me, my purpose here is to help other people to I want to encourage, I want to motivate, and I want to inspire others to aspire further, right? And go after what it is that you want. That's my goal, right? And do that through happiness and joy and spreading that journey. Do that here on the podcast and sharing my own journey to give you the inspiration that we're all going through these challenges, we're all going through these things that are hard and tough. That's life. So let's get at it together and make it happen. So let me know if you if you're brave enough. Jump down below into the comments and which was your number, which was the one that spoke out the most to you. I would love to hear it in the comments. We can continue the conversation. We'll be back here again next week. We're going to be talking. Actually, next week's a good one. We're going to be talking about maybe you're doing better than you expected, than you thought. And I think it's a really good follow-on episode from this. So I'll see you next week. We'll do it all again. And yeah, appreciate you being here. Ciao.