Welcome And The Big Claim

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Yo yo, welcome back to the Further Your Lifestyle Podcast Conversations on Lifestyle, Passions, and Hustles. My name's Chris. I am your host, and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 261. And this one, things are about to get pretty juicy. And hate to break it to you, but you've most likely been lied to. You've been sold a lie. And this one, look, it might actually come back and bite me in the butt, but there's a whole lot of things that I want to talk about today, which get thrown around on the internet. And here I am talking about how to further your lifestyle. And sometimes some of the things that come out, it's not always going to be relevant to you. It's not always going to be the thing that you should just latch on to. I mean, sure, I'm here to help you further your lifestyle, but you have to take what makes sense out of these conversations. And this, it might sting, right? It really might sting. But I believe we've all been lied to at one stage in our life when it comes to we'll get to that in a second, but it's not by one person individually. It's not by a system, it's not by intentionality either. But I think somewhere along the way, you've been sold a version of life that sounds good to you. And that might be the reason why you're stuck, right? And I guess the whole idea around this, when I we've been like looking into this conversation, is it's about exposing some of the, I guess, some of the controversies or some of the things that we get told or suggested, which we absorb without kind of actually doing any due diligence ourselves. And that's why I tell you, when we do these episodes, you've got to actually listen, you've got to do the work, you've got to do your research, you've got to take the action yourself. I can't just say you do this and you're gonna be all figured out because it's not that simple. And this isn't about conspiracy, it's not about blaming anyone. It's just truths that I think we all need to make sure that we rip off that band-aid and have a healthy conversation about. So we're gonna dive straight into this one. If you do want to continue the conversation, you can jump down below. Make sure you hit subscribe if you want to follow along on the journey as well, and be here next week and get alerted of when a new episode comes out. But we're gonna roll the intro and let's get into it.

Passion Starts You Systems Sustain You

SPEAKER_00 2:17

So there's probably about five or seven of these that I had kind of jotted down that I wanted to go through, and this may sound contradicting to the whole premise of this podcast, further your lifestyle. But the first one is that I think gets thrown around all over the internet all the time is follow your passion and everything will work out. I'm always saying follow your passion and find purpose and all these different things, but I think we need to look into it a little bit more in detail, right? So the reality is passion can be unreliable. Just because you have a passion, just because you have a joy and love for something, doesn't mean it's gonna solve all your problems. Some days you will love it, some days you will hate it. The point is we want to know, we want to find something that we can be committed to, that we can have discipline with, and that we're willing to show up anyway. Passion usually falls into that ground. But what passion really does is passion gets you started, but systems keep you going. Where on the contrary, sometimes it's the other way around. Some people love the passion, but when things get too commercialized, things gets things get too systemized, that's when they don't enjoy it. So when someone comes out and you you don't know what you want to do in life, and people say, Oh, what's your passion? Go follow your passion, right? A lot of the time we don't even know what our passion is. And we think we know what our passion is, so we go do that and it doesn't end up being the thing that we enjoy, and we end up just not liking that anymore. So you do need to take this with a level of serious consideration. Make sure you understand what you know your passion is, right? What is your purpose? What do you want to achieve? Where do you want to be in five years? And if for me, I have a lot of passions. I love playing video games, I love running, I love building my business, I love spending time with Carla, I love chickens, I love doing those little hobbies. I used to have a pet lizard, love animals, all these different things, passions. I love gardening. But do all those things, does that mean I want to do them for the rest of my life? I love playing video games, but I also get frustrated. I also get pretty bored by it pretty quick because I like it as a bit of a hit and a bit of a fun and a bit of different activity. But doing it forever? Maybe not. My business, however, I love doing that because it's tangible. I can put in work and get an actual response in terms of is this working? Is this not? And it's real. But that isn't for everyone either. So when it comes to people telling you to get out there and follow your passion, there's a lot more deepness to it that we really need to understand before you can actually take action on that or really rely on that as an ongoing thing. I mean, we talk about this all the time.

You Never Feel Ready First

SPEAKER_00 4:54

The next thing is you need to feel ready. I think this one is actually a load of crap, right? Because if someone's out here telling you you need to feel ready, I totally disagree with this. I think nobody is ever going to feel ready for these things. People aren't ready for kids, people aren't ready for their business, people aren't ready for public speaking, people aren't ready for new opportunities, people aren't ready for growth. Readiness is usually built after the first step, right? You get comfortable, you get ready, you get normal with it after you've done it because you know how to do it. So you never, you know, if people come to you and say, Oh, you need to get a bit more experience on this, you get the experience from actually giving it a go, right? If you want kids and you're worried that you're not gonna be a good parent, well, the only way to become a good parent is to be a parent and figure it out. Sure, you can you can read books, you can get knowledge, you can get experience from other people, like shared knowledge. But your own approach, your own experience, your in the moment, actual doing is what's gonna define you as your ability of you are a good parent, right? Same for business, same for public speaking, same for opportunity, same for growth, driving a car, all these different things, right? As you do more of it, you will get more comfortable with it, which means you're ready to then do it again or do more of it.

Happiness Is A Shaky Compass

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Number three is again something controversial is do what makes you happy. We got to be careful with this. And I I'm very, very, very clear on how I want this. Is happiness does not work very well as a perfect compass, right? Because happiness changes. Happiness is dictated by emotion, moods, things that happen in the day. We react to so many things. When really, we really want to be focusing on purpose, on meaning, responsibility, and contribution. Now, those things can make you happy, right? And by doing what is your purpose, by doing something that is meaningful, by doing something that gives you responsibility, that makes you be able to contribute to a bigger thing, you will be happy. But these things go deeper. Chasing happiness often creates emptiness. Sure, I love playing video games, it makes me happy. But if I play them too long, I feel unproductive, and therefore it doesn't make me happy. However, if I'm conquering and making results in my business, I feel that I've made per I've got a purpose, that we're doing something, we're making a difference, it gives me some level of meaning. I'm responsible for it, so I'm accountable for it. So I feel I've got something that I own and I've got blood in that, and I'm giving my contribution, so I feel like I'm a part of something. These things go deeper, right? And these things, that's why I think it's important that sure, you want to be happy doing these things, but happiness can burn up pretty quick. You want these other traits, which will make a more long-standing happiness in general.

The Real Meaning Of Having It All

SPEAKER_00 7:43

All right, the next one is, and I've heard this on the internet before, is you can have it all. This is very broad, right? And the reality is, is like maybe you can, maybe you can't. And it's not all gonna happen at once. The people that become successful and they get on the internet and they say, I made $100,000 this year, you can do it too, right? Or I made $100,000 this month, you can do it too. I mean, I literally just did my first $50,000 month. And I can come out and say, you can do it too, but there's a lot of understanding that comes behind that. It took me six years to do that. There's a lot of trade-offs, a lot of experience, a lot of risks, a lot of situations, opportunities that I had, advantages that I have. So, yes, if I can do it, anyone can do it. But it's not like you can just go do it next month. It's not like you can just go do it the month after. There is a process to get there. It's going to take time. So when people say you can have it all, sure, you can, but you gotta understand what that timeline looks like. It's not a matter of waking up tomorrow and everything's just gonna be changed and you can have it all. If you want something, you have to work towards it. You have to have the purpose, you have to have the responsibility, all those things we spoke about, but you have to have the drive and you have to have the want and understand why you're doing it. You also need to remember that every yes somewhere is a no somewhere else, right? So life isn't about having it all. It's about choosing what matters the most, and that becomes your all, right? People, uh the amount of people that say, why would I leave my job that was a nine to five, I was getting paid $160,000 to go build a business which does not pay me anything like that, because life isn't about having it all or having all the money. It's about choosing what matters most to me. It gives me a different lifestyle that I want, that I love, and that I cherish. And I get to build and create something which makes me proud, that makes me happy, gives me purpose, and that makes me want to be getting up and doing it again. I'm not saying that that's what business will do for you. I'm not saying that that's what your job will do for you. But if you can find those things, it makes you feel like you have it all. But the definition of having it all, a lot of people naturally just let, oh, the fast cars, the big houses, or the ability to be able to travel anywhere whenever you want. And it gets thrown around. People have millions of dollars as if that's just like pocket change for them. And that's where they can have this idea, you can have it all, because I've got it too. But what does that even look like for you? So the definitions are very

Why More Often Makes Life Worse

SPEAKER_00 10:15

different. The next one is more is better. Reality, more does not make it better. Sure, more money, it opens up more opportunities. It can solve a lot of problems. It does not make things necessarily always better. More followers, again, sure, better status quo. It gives you some level of authority, an influencer. But what does that actually do? Is there any essence to it? More stuff. I've got I've got a lot of stuff behind me, you can see. When I moved, it's all packed up, and you start to then questions like, okay, what was the importance of this stuff? I haven't even prioritized getting it out. So just because you have more stuff doesn't mean it's better, right? More opportunities. Sometimes you don't need more opportunities. Sometimes what you have is going to be just good enough for what you need. Often, a lot of these things create more noise, they create more distractions, and they create more complexities. More doesn't always make things richer. Sometimes less does. It's a hard pill to swallow, but that's the reality of

Hard Usually Means Growth

SPEAKER_00 11:16

it. The next one is this one I love. If it's hard, it's probably not meant for you. No, no, no, no. It's the opposite that is often true. If it's hard, that's the thing. Excuse me. Big yawn, sorry. It's the opposite. Usually, if it's hard, that's likely the thing you're meant to be doing. It's going to grow you, it's going to stretch you, it's going to help you become something you are not today. Difficulty isn't rejection, it's it's often initiation to that next level. And so many times I see people try and find a shortcut, try and do things the easy way. Usually the best way to do it is the way that is the hardest way because you've never had to do it before. And if you follow the hard way, which is because you have to learn, you have to upskill, you have to go through a process, you have to do all these things, but it gets you usually a realized and a consistent result. Whereas if you're trying to skip all that stuff, you don't follow a guide. You don't think about reading instructions when you're trying to build something. You can just try and do it yourself, and you get to the end and you've missed this, and the thing doesn't stand up straight or it's not even. When if you just follow the instructions, which can be annoying and frustrating, you get the result that you need to get the best outcome possible. That's the way it works.

Success Looks Boring Up Close

SPEAKER_00 12:30

The next one, and this is kind of the last one, is success should feel exciting. The reality is success often feels repetitive, it feels boring, it feels uncertain, and it will feel invisible. The real magic is that consistency, mastery is usually boring before it's impressive. And that's why a lot of the people, they get excited when they all of a sudden see an overnight success, right? You people come out and say, Oh, I just did this and look what I've achieved. And people think, wow, how do I get involved? How can I do it? Because they're getting that dopamine hit too, where they see someone, they've just made a lot of money, or they've just been really successful, or they've just signed a new deal, or they just got a new house, or they just got married, all these different things. But all of that has taken time. Repetitive, repetitive, repetitive hours of doing something. Sometimes there's a lot of boring in that. Sometimes there was a lot of uncertainty. People had to go through struggles to get there. Even relationships, going for your promotion for your job, building out that consistency, getting yourself in a position of authority, having a business that wins a contract. It might have taken 10 years to win that contract and it gives you that advantage. All this stuff, it we don't always see it, how people have to go for it. But you you go through it. We all go through it. We all have things in our life that we have to decide between yes and no and experience and figure it out. And all of that, as it rolls up into a big snowball, then gets you a result in a point in time. Where I am today doing this podcast, it's now very easy to do this. I can say that that's successful, but is it exciting? I mean, I still have to keep doing the content if I want to keep doing the podcast. So I have to keep it fresh. I have to do more research, I have to look up more things, I have to write more scripts, I have to do more, right? But I love it and it is exciting. But for some people, that is a drag and people don't enjoy that. So you've got to realize success isn't always perfect. It's messy. It's it's a lot. It's not a cup of tea.

Questions To Rewrite Your Story

SPEAKER_00 14:25

So quite a couple of questions for you that I want to ask you is one, what belief have you been living by that no longer serves you? This is a really important question we should ask ourselves all the time. What truth did you inherit, maybe from someone else, but you've never really questioned? And three, what if the thing you're holding back isn't fear, but it's just like an outdated story of yourself, of who you think you are meant to be, when really that's all a bit of a lie or misinformation or confusing from confusion from people saying, Oh, you should do this or you should follow that. Go figure it out yourself. Get out there, give it a go, right? You'll learn it. But if you if you're trying to get the right approach and listen to other people telling you what to do, it's probably not the right way. And here I am telling you, go out there and give it a go. And you might think, well, well, I'm not gonna. But the thing is, if you do nothing, you will get nothing. You have to do something. Go experience all these seven things that we've just spoken about. Dabble a little bit. Pro, get curious, right? So you can find what works for you, find what is your essence, find what is your flow. So maybe, maybe no one has lied to you. But what I'm saying is in the social space, in social networks, all this, even this, we are bombarded with ideas and highlight reels and things that are presented to us that make it look like this is what we want. A fantasy world of what we could possibly have. Now, some of that is possible, right? I can only know what I'm what is possible to where I am at the moment, but where I want to go. And then you open up your world to this whole new idea. I spoke about this last week. But at some point, if you want growth, it does mean questioning the stories. It means questioning how you got here, it means questioning everything you know, even the ones that sound good. Just because it sounds good doesn't mean it's going to be good for you, right? It just because someone says that, oh, you know how to make $10,000 this month, join my course and do all these things, doesn't mean it's going to work for you. There comes a level of discipline, execution, a type of willpower, a type of person that wants that, where some people are happy to just grow veggies and sell veggies at a farmer's market on the weekend, right? And that is their big, big life event. That is their big success. And that's okay. So make sure you define it not on the basis of what other people are putting, but you need to define it. That is the whole purpose of this episode, right? You can be told by others of how to do it, but you need to find that definition yourself, right? Otherwise, you're gonna stay stuck. Otherwise, you're gonna stay stuck. This is me trying to help you further your lifestyle. Take what you will from it. I've been very frank, being very honest, that it's easy to just throw things out here on the internet and get trying to tell you how to run and live your life. You have to do that. I'm here to give you some ideas. If you don't like them, if you don't follow them, right? Go go get curious. Follow someone else, go read someone else, go understand from someone else, get a second opinion. If you get a quote for a house to be painted, do you go with the first one? Do you shop around? Do you get a few ideas? Broaden your horizons. Get some understanding before you make a decision.

Final Push To Get Curious

SPEAKER_00 17:35

That's it from me, team. Really appreciate you being here. I will be back here again next week and we'll do it again. I'll see you then. Cheers.