Confusion Or Avoiding A Choice

Yo, yo, welcome back to the Feather Your Lifestyle Podcast Conversations on Lifestyle, Passions, and Hustles. My name's Chris. I am your host, and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 258 today, and I want to have a conversation about something that I think is hindering your progress or your ability to make progress. And sometimes people just say we're confused or, you know, we're going through a confusing time. But I think a lot of the time it actually boils down to this one thing. And this one thing that I want to talk about is the decisions that you're avoiding. And we have discussed this in the past before on a similar manner, but I feel like it's just a relevant conversation. It's been a relevant conversation for myself in the last few weeks. And you know me, I like to bring what's relevant and share through it and talk through it. So look, what if you're not actually confused? What if you're actually just avoiding making a decision? And I think this is the whole premise of this conversation. A lot of the time we think, oh, don't know what to do, don't know what to do about this. When really it's what I've noticed in my own life and in conversations, you know, we tend to say it's like, oh, I just, I'm not sure. I need more time, or I just need to think about it a bit more. But a lot of the time it doesn't actually boil down to confusion. It boils down to avoidance, the things that we're umming and aring about getting uncomfortable, we're uming and a ring about having to do the hard thing, we're uming and about, you know, not wanting to have to, you know, do something or confront something. And this is the core idea of this conversation today. You know, we we label it as confusion simply because it makes us feel maybe safer, or maybe it makes it feel softer to us. But underneath, it's really just this fear of choosing, this fear of making that next step. And because if we could choose something, it means we're committing, it means we're closing other doors, and it also means we're having to take responsibility of the outcome. And that's uncomfortable. That is the conversation that we're having today. If this sounds like something that you need to hear, then make sure you do follow along, hit subscribe. Now you can also comment down below and leave a you know continual conversation for after this episode. But if you do enjoy these episodes, I would appreciate if you can share them to someone else. We're gonna roll the intro and we're gonna dive straight on in. So one confusion feels safer than commitment, and that's why I think we tend to use it as a bit of an excuse. Ripping off the band-aid here, you know, when you say or when you stay confused, you stay in the middle. There's no risk, there's there's no failure, there's no judgment, but also there's no progress. You know, confusion is a comfortable place to hide. And I think you really need to look at this. Look at the last, you know, week, six weeks, six months, one year, what have you been confused about that you haven't made a decision on? And I tend to do this sometimes. Now I'm learning to take a little bit more. Well, when I say it now, in the last five years that has evolved. And I take a lot more ownership, I take a lot more, I guess, responsibility when it comes to having to make these decisions and the impacts that they're going to make and then live up to them. We've made some bad decisions as well, but you know, I'm living up to them and making it happen. And you have to be okay with that because that's how you grow, that's how you actually actually learn new skills and experience and level up. And point number two to all of this is the real fear isn't the decision, it's the cost, right? You know, the risk, the failure, all these different things. Let's call it out, right? You're not scared of the choosing, you're scared of what the choosing might cost you. You're you're scared of what if it doesn't work? What if, you know, you pick the wrong thing, or what if you regret it, or what if people judge you? So you delay, you research more, or you think about it more, or you circle back. Does this sound familiar? And the thing is, yeah, sure. You know, the longer you wait doing it, maybe there's a better opportunity. But I have found, and it's it's a common statement, people say, look, oh, you know, I'm looking for an easy way to do this. You try this, you try that, you try all these different things, all these easy ways. You might have tried 10 different easy ways and realize there's no shortcut to this success. And you should have just done it the hard way the first way, because the hard way is probably the right way. Even though it's going to make you uncomfortable, even though you're going to have to adjust things, even though it might not work out exactly the way you want and you have to adjust again, the reality is that's life. And if you don't go out and try these things, if you don't go out and actually try and get that promotion, or ask that girl out, or ask that guy out, or you know, learn to drive, or you know, sign up for this, or you know, all these different things, or start the business that you've always been dreaming of doing, or kicking off a podcast, or starting a YouTube, you know, it it it's it's not gonna happen unless you do it. And it's easy for other people to sit around and say, oh no, you can't do this, or look at this person chasing his goals and he says this, but he's failing here. And it's easy for other people to call it out because they're not doing your journey, right? And I've had people mock mock me for my further your lifestyle podcast because they think I haven't furthered my life. I I love how other people have this idea of what my life should look like. I mean, I don't I don't I don't care about other people's lives in the sense that, hey, look, I can have this conversation with you, I can help you work through these decisions and make a decision to move forward. But if you don't, ultimately that that's on you. I'm gonna be moving on regardless. And you know, what I do with my life in terms of how I progress and what I'm trying to progress towards is different to what you're trying to progress towards. And I think it's really important that you don't compare to other people. If you've got a goal, if you've got a mission, if you've got a dream, you you go after it. But you have to make the decisions, you have to be the one to make those calls. I'm I'm simply just here to help you, guide you, and give you some sense of what I'm working through to hopefully give you the inspiration and motivation to go after it yourself. Right? And number three, clarity doesn't come before the decision, right? A lot of the time we don't really realize how things are going to go until we get through them. Hindsight, some things I wish I doubled down on. Hindsight, sometimes I wish I didn't do things a certain way. But you don't have that clarity until you do it. You get the experience, you learn from it, and then you're able to make better decisions with certainty, with confidence, and better timing going forward. That's how you grow. That's how you become an experienced individual, that's how you further your lifestyle, that's how you become someone that says, Oh, you're just an overnight success. No, you've been, you know, giving things a go, you've been failing and succeeding, failing and succeeding, iterating for years and years and years. And that's how you're able to get that success so quickly overnight to one person, but other people that followed along might have seen now he's been a hack and away at this for years, right? That's how it happens. Number four. So you're probably circling the same decision. Now, it's a bit of a roundabout idea, right? You know, there's probably something in your life right now where you've thought about it maybe multiple times, you've gone back and forth, you've played out every scenario in your head, and you're still exactly where you started. That's not confusion, it's avoidance. Because you go around and say, I could do this, or I could do this, or I could do this. Now, I think the reason why a lot of people struggle to make a decision, and maybe it's not avoidance and maybe it's not confusion, there is probably an outlier here, which is you just don't understand. And if you don't understand, if you genuinely don't know how to make the decision, you need to just do a simple pros and cons list. Break it down as okay, what's the pros here, what's the cons here, what's the pros here, what's the cons here, and let the facts tell you, right? And then whatever resonates with you the most, whatever makes you feel more excited, whatever makes you feel doesn't necessarily have to be comfortable, but what your gut starts to say based on looking at the facts, then you can help yourself by picking a direction. And then this is point number five. Picking a direction is more powerful than picking the right one. Because we don't know what the right one is. The right one to pick is the one that you're willing to go do. You've got to be careful of that though as well. Sometimes we will do things as distractions to actually avoid doing the thing we should be doing. But hear me out here. People want to make this perfect decision, but most of the time there isn't just one perfect decision. I always say, what are you doing today that's going to get you closer to where you want to be? What's one thing that you can do today that's going to get you closer to where you want to be? You know, is it a direction? Is it a step? Is it an action? And then you can adjust from there, right? Movement creates this clarity. Movement enables you to, you know, avoid standing still, which creates doubt. We don't want doubt, right? Because when you have doubt, that's when you go into some messy places. So, point number six is what happens if you just decide? Well, okay, well, this is what we've got to ask ourselves is what if you just pick something? What's what's the best thing that can happen? What's the worst thing that can happen? This is another way to kind of look at how you could probably move forward. If you're struggling to make a decision about something, well, what if you just pick something? What happens with this or this? And what if you committed to it for 30 days? What if you give it a go? Can you do that? Maybe you can. What if you tested out a few things? Can you do an MVP, minimal viable products? Can you test something out, see if it works? And then if it works better for you, then you do more. We've been trying to spice up how we're doing our washing service, like our washing in our business with using different washing services, comparing to in-house, comparing to different, you know, people in terms of the services they provide. It meant it costs a little bit of extra money because we've been jumping around, but we've found someone. It's great, it's it's working, and it's better, right? And I think that's why it's important. Some of these things will cost time, some of these things will cost money, some of these things will cost a little bit of both. But in the long run, if it's going to get you to where you want to be and it starts to stick, then it's worth it every time. So, a couple of questions for you. Number one is what decision have you been sitting on? Let me know down in the comments. Number two, what are you actually afraid of losing? You can also let me down, let me know down in the comments. And number three is what would happen if you choose a direction this week? And a lot of the time is you make a decision today, you're gonna, you know, get into a group, and then six months from now, you're gonna wish you started earlier. That's the way it usually goes. So, a quick closing thought, and I wrote this down when I'll read it out to you. You don't need more thinking, you don't need more planning, you don't need more opinions, you need to decide. Because the life you want doesn't come from waiting until you're sure, it comes from being willing to move before you are. And that's how you further your lifestyle. Appreciate you being here. If you did have any questions or would like to continue the conversation, jump down into the comments here on YouTube, more than happy to do so. Otherwise, please go through this, see what else you need to take from it. If you need to listen to it again, learn from it, take some actions from it. But don't just sit around and do nothing. Make a decision, execute, and you know, come back in six months and tell me that I wasn't bright. You know. Appreciate you being here. I'll see you next week. Ciao,