Why Resilience Matters Now

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Oh yo yo, welcome back to the Further Your Lifestyle Podcast Conversations on Lifestyle, Passions, and Hustle. My name's Chris. I am your host, and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 256 today, and we're talking about how to win at resilience and how to keep showing up. And this is a very I think it's a very important conversation because, you know, relevant to the time of me filming this, there's lots of things going on in the world which it does make you question, you know, what is the point of this or how do I keep going? And I think I think when when I pull it all back and strip it all back, I think everyone wants to be resilient. Or they think they're able to be resilient until it's time to actually be resilient. And then there's panic, there's fear, there's anxiety, there's stress, and things catch up to you. It gets heated, it gets hot, and it gets hard. And the the the reality of it is this is resilience doesn't show up when things are going well. It only shows up, or usually tries to kick in when you're tired, when things aren't working, when the results aren't there, and when you still have to decide, do I show up today? And that's the core idea that I really want to touch on today. That, you know, it isn't something that we're born with. It's something that you're going to have to build over a period of time through repetition, through setbacks, and through experience and moments where, you know, it would be easier to not show up. But by showing up in the times where it is not easier, that's when we start to win at resilience, and that's when we're able to bank resilience, and that's how we're able to learn resilience. It's about not disappearing when things get hard. So if that sounds like a conversation that you need to have with yourself, this is the episode for you. We're gonna get straight into it in a second. But if you do enjoy these episodes, please leave a comment down below. You know, continue the conversation, hit like, hit subscribe. You're more than welcome to also share this with someone else if you think they need to have a little conversation with themselves about resilience as well. So we're gonna roll the intro and let's get into it.

Redefining Winning As Showing Up

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So I think the first thing we need to do when it comes to, you know, how do we manage resilience or how do we apply resilience or how do we gain resilience, when we're talking all things resilience, that's a lot of resilience said, is we need to redefine or we need to define what winning looks like. Now, most people think winning equals results. Look, and vanity-wise, it is. Like we're usually looking at those results that make us feel good. But when it comes to resilience, winning is actually showing up, putting in the reps, actually doing something that's getting you closer to where you want to be. And you know, a lot of the time when we do show up, it doesn't always feel like that you've been hitting the progress or the success that you would normally see. But you still did something. And this is why it's so important that resilience doesn't actually mean, you know, huge life-changing results. The the success is showing up and giving it a go. You know, when you're off track or when things aren't going to plan, but you still come back and you still give it another go. When you've doubted yourself or you're doubting yourself, it's you keep going, you keep pushing through, you remind yourself of why you're doing it in the first place. Sometimes the win isn't the progress, it's the presence is the progress, right? If I had, you know, not showed up on the days where, you know, I felt like not doing this podcast or not doing my business or not doing the run for training when I was training for my ultra marathons, well, I wouldn't have got the progress in the long run. Because building that resilience gives you that muscle flex to be able to show up when tough times come. And tough times are gonna come. They're gonna disappear, they're gonna come back, and it will be a constant repeat of that cycle. It's gonna be a different type of toughness, but that's the reality of life. I mean, I'm sorry, but life is not it's not a breeze or a walk in the park. It's it comes with its challenges. So I think the next thing is then you need to also

Expect Hard Days And Train In Them

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expect that it is going to feel hard. And that's the point, right? It's resilience isn't tested when things are easy. It's tested when motivation is gone, when you lack the energy or you have low energy, or confidence is shaky. And it feels if it feels hard, that that's a good thing. That means you're in the moment of building resilience. Now, I've felt this in the last three, four months with my business, some really gnarly situations. You doubt yourself, you don't think you're capable of doing it, but then you zoom out and you realize, well, hang on, no, I am capable because I've done this for so long. And that's when you can, you know, pull yourself out of the rut and realize, no, no, no. This is just this is just a new hard time, right? That you have to experience through. And when it does get hard, that's when you need to remind yourself, no, this is what I've trained for. This is why I have been building my resilience for these tough times. You don't build resilience before the storm, you build it in the storm. And when you get through the first storm, it's nowhere near as bad. But then when the next one comes, it's bigger, you have a little bit of experience of how to navigate it, but you're gonna have to learn how to navigate it again and build that resilience. That's that's the repetitive nature of it. It it sucks, but that's the reality of it.

Lower The Standard Keep Commitment

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And point number three I'll make is you know, we need to shrink the standard and not the commitment. And this is a big one when you need to really make sure you understand this, is because when things get tough, people tend to quit because they can't meet their usual standard. Which which I understand, I can understand and why people do this, but what we want to be doing is move the goalposts. We don't want to be aiming for perfect, we don't want to be aiming for big. We want to be hitting the smaller goals of like, I got this done today, I am surviving, we've been able to do this. Now, you may be able to still hit some amazing goals during that time, but you need to adjust the reality of those standards because sometimes you're not going to be able to give the 110%. You're better off rocking up and giving in 90% through those tough times because the 90% is going to be better than doing nothing. You've got to aim for something. You know, maybe it's five minutes instead of 50 minutes, or maybe it's one task instead of 10 tasks, or maybe it's showing up instead of showing off, right? We tend to love to show off our highlight reels, but what about, you know, the not-so highlight reels? So we want to lower the bar, but we want to keep the habit. And the best way to do that is to make it a little bit easier for yourself. All right.

Stop Making Setbacks Your Identity

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The next thing is a bit of a reality check as well. Stop making it mean something about you. Right? What is what does that mean? It means on a bad what one bad day doesn't mean that you've failed, that you're inconsistent, that you're not disciplined. This is a wake-up call. This can be a challenge to ourselves because, you know, we when we have such a good run of something and it's going well, and then you do hit a bit of a bump in the road, it can be hard to, you know, the pride takes a bit of a dint, right? Because you you feel like you've done it, you've you've been great at this, that you've never had a problem. Well, the reality is, is like you probably just had a good run, and you probably are great, but you're not, you're not perfect. And there's going to be challenges. And half the time these challenges that come, they're going to be out of your control anyway. So just means you've had a bad day, things have changed, haven't hasn't gone to plan. Resilient people don't overinterpret the setbacks. You need to figure out how to move forward and reset with these setbacks. Work with and through and pivot and adjust. It's like you're shuffling through like a thick jungle. That's what you've got to work to do. If you see that it's too hard to walk forward because of the thickness, well then, you know, you turn back and go away and then you give up. Or you can brush it up, get some scratches, figure out how to get through it.

Build Proof Through Small Reps

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And it actually leads to step number five, or point number five, which is you build proof, not pressure, right? Every time you show up when it's hard, you build evidence that you can do this, that you're capable of doing this. You don't quit easily, that you can handle discomfort. You're able to, you know, pull your big boy pants up when things get, you know, annihilate. And that proof compounds because over time, you stop relying on just this motivation to move forward, but you rely on your trust because you don't know, I've done this before, I can do it again. And that's where resilience is really, really important. We've we've talked spoken about resilience before, but I think in this, in this case, I feel like there's a lot going on. Like I'm filming this on the 12th of April. This is going to come out a little bit later. But hopefully, you know, life's going well for you. But that's why we're having this conversation, is because sometimes life just does not go as planned. So, the last point, number six, which is make showing up part of your identity.

Make Consistency Your Identity

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Make it something that is ingrained in you. At some point, it stops being about discipline, but it becomes this is just what you do. And I think the more and more we go through life and go through our adventures and journeys, there's going to be more things that are going to hit us unexpectedly. And you want to be the person. Well, you need to ask yourself, do you want to be the person that shows up, that figures it out, keeps going? Not perfectly, but consistently. And I had recently, I was quite it actually was probably one of the biggest compliments I've ever received. I was working with a new supplier, reached out to do some deals, and I said, Oh, would you be interested in doing this? We're we're working on a new consignment model. And I said, Chris, you know, you are consistent as heck. And that is the reason why they want to work with me, because they know that when I say something, I do it. Like I stick to it, and I will continue to stick to it and I make it worth it for the long run. That bl that that gives me goosebumps, right? Because to be able to have someone else recognize what I think I'm capable of doing, but someone else to see that and re- I guess reward me because of that, it's it's amazing, right? And that's because I continue to show up, I continue to work through and navigate through the challenges that I'm experiencing. I'm not saying that I've got it all figured out, but it's just a nice realization that, hey, when you are going through these moments and you feel like maybe you ain't you ain't feeling it, you're probably doing a little bit better than you expect.

Reflection Questions And Closing

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So, a couple of things that I want you to reflect on before we wrap up is where in your life do you keep disappearing when you know when life gets harder? Like what are you avoiding? What have you been walking away from? What would showing up look like today, even in a small way? You think about it, right? You have to answer it. And what if resilience wasn't about being strong, but it's about being consistent? Right? So have a have a thought about that. Resilience doesn't need to be loud, right? It just needs to it just needs to be consistent. It just needs to be doing the same over and again and again and again, and making the adjustments, tweaking, iterations, until one day you've realized that you've built something most people never do. Because most people will give up. And you're not a you're not you're not a quitter, right? And look, maybe, maybe, maybe it is all too much for you. That's why this episode exists is how do you strip it back? How do you pull it down to a bit more of a attainable and manageable step-by-step process, opposed to just looking at the big beast ahead of you and feeling overwhelmed. I hope this has helped you. More than happy to continue the conversation down in the comments below. Get out there, be resilient. You've got this, don't doubt yourself. I'm rooting for you. And I would love to know what are you working through at the moment as well. You can leave that in the comments as well. Otherwise, we'll be back here again next week doing it all again. I'll see you when I'm looking at you. Ciao.