Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the Further your Lifestyle podcast conversations on lifestyle passions and hustles. My name's Chris, I am your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 222, nice smooth number right there. And today we're talking about a topic which I feel like it's come up quite a lot of times and it was something that's kind of just.

I've been chatting to a few people over the last couple of weeks and just hearing you know what they want to do and you know they wanted to go out on their own, start their own business or quit the nine to five and all these different things. And this, this episode. Firstly, this is not financial advice or this is not to go say, you know, go quit your job or anything like that. So let's just get that up front. But I think there's a whole bunch of different things where we, you know, in today's society we get so confused around. We're thinking that maybe we're failing because we're not getting the results that we want, or maybe we're just not, I don't know. We self-doubt ourselves in terms of we don't have the ability to go do what we want to achieve, but a lot of it really just comes down to fear of failure or just fear of getting started, or a whole bunch of different fears around some of these things which I think, once we go through this conversation, you may realize that maybe it isn't all that bad that you thought and yeah, the prompt being you're not failing. You're just actually scared of looking dumb and it might seem a little candor, a little harsh, but the reality is, a lot of the time, we're just scared of what other people are thinking. So that's what I want to talk about today.

If you enjoy these episodes and you know you find that there are a lot of value one like subscribe and leave a comment. Right, if you want to continue the conversation, we can do that throughout the episode. Jump down there if you're watching on the YouTube, and you can leave a comment. Otherwise, if you find that this is really good and you think someone else needs to hear this and have a little bit of a kick up the butt in furthering their lifestyle, please share it with them. Tell them why they need to go, listen to it and see if we can't get them over here and have a listen, because my mission is to really help as many people as possible to further their own lifestyles, and a lot of it comes with our own ability to actually just get out and get going in changing our lives and building the lifestyle that you want, whether it be through a business that you want or simply just changing some things in your life, because that's what you want to do. And this is a really good, relevant topic around all of that. So that's what we're getting into. We're going to roll the intro and, yeah, let's get into it. So I still can't believe we're actually 222. Like, that's just a really, really crazy milestone to think about. It's just a smooth 222. Anyway, so we're talking about a whole bunch of different things here and I've got a whole bunch of notes in front of me. I'm trying a little bit of a different setup. I've got a new screen that's just below me here to help me think a little bit better and prompt myself.

But I think the first thing is, like you know, fear does not equal failure. Fear equals exposure, and I think that's what we're probably more scared of is being exposed. And it's not about that. We fear being like, we fear a fact. I think maybe, personally, there is this fear that maybe we're not going to be able to achieve the success that we want. But I think, really, when we dig it down, we actually fear about other people seeing us fail. Therefore, it's not just ourselves being disappointed, but we're going to disappoint others. Now, number one if you're out doing something that is for others and it's not for you, well then there's probably some concerns there around that we need to be addressed, but we'll probably talk about that a little bit later.

But when we start getting stuck on, what will others think? What will people think? You know, it's the most expensive question you're ever going to ask, because it's probably going to cost you your life in terms of the lifestyle that you want. You know, if I had not done the decision in, you know, taking a chance on myself to step away from the nine to five and followed what other people thought in terms of, like, you're crazy, this is ridiculous, it's career suicide, all those different things there wasn't many, but there was a few doubters Then you know, like I wouldn't be here, right, and we've hit some amazing milestones over the last couple of weeks and to think that I could have just given all that up because I was too scared to try, because someone else thought that it was ridiculous or because someone else was too scared to do it themselves. I mean how ludicrous that we would base the decisions of our own lives on the basis of someone else because they weren't able to do it or they're not confident in themselves to do it. It just doesn't make sense. But I understand it's that exposure of you know that we're not good enough. The reality is adults, and I'm an adult. A lot of us are adults.

I think majority of you that are watching is the age group around 35 and 45. Adults are experts at pretending and that's exhausting, right. We a right. There's this mentality around fake it till you make it. We just got to be showing the highlight reels that we know what we're talking about, that we get it done. The best thing that you can do is show up for yourself, get it done and let the world see the results. Right, I document a lot of my journey and a lot of people see those results because it's visual. But I'm not just showing the highs, I am showing the lows. I'm showing the frustrations. I expose everything that I'm doing Now I used to have a fear of doing that.

I don't have a fear of doing that anymore. I do have a bit of a fear that, you know, maybe I'm not bringing across the right context and I try and be very mindfully making sure that I can provide that relevant information and context for all people that are watching or listening. But that's hard, that's a hard thing. But if we move on from there, we move on to the next point, and I'm just going to quickly go on a little bit of a side tangent here. I've been drinking coconut water, chocolate. This stuff is incredible, very, very incredible, anyway, and the Rainer, I blame you for that.

So the next thing that I want to talk about is why looking stupid is actually the starting line of something beautiful. Because all progress and I think this is what a lot of people forget all progress, all journeys, all adventures are All of it starts with two things Zero, like we start at zero, and it starts with uncertainty. Even if you're an expert guitar player, naturally, but you've never gone out and played on stage, there's going to be some level of uncertainty because you've never done it before. We do not know what we do not know. So, therefore, being bad at something is the first step at actually being good at it If you're willing to be bad at it and give it a go, then you're willing to be the best at it.

And I think that's where a lot of people struggle is because they think because they can't do it, therefore they're not able to do it. The reality is, how many things can we not do? When you first started to walk, you would not remember it, but of course. But you fell over right and you weren't able to. Did you give up? No, you're walking around today, so right, it's in our core to be able to continuously come back and be better of ourselves, be better versions of ourselves.

And I think stupid is just what confidence looks like at its earliest form, because to others it's like I can't look at this person. They don't even know how to do it. But you know they won't be the ones laughing when that person is the one to be promoted ahead of them or to achieve a new milestone or achievement before them. And that's the thing. People laugh at you when you're at your lowest Lowest, being either at the start, or if you've had a setback. But once you achieve the greatness that you want and they start to say, oh, my goodness, this person's going to beat me, all of a sudden, they start to get a little bit sour about you, right? Because all of a sudden you're this threat, you're threatening what they thought they had absolutely control over, and then, after that, they'll soon come around and they'll be asking you for help.

How did you do it? What do I do? Oh, wow, and then they want to be your friend. Right, I'm generalizing, but that's how it kind of works and that's why it's ironic. So you've got to really keep focused on what you want. Yeah, you might look like a clown. Yeah, it's going to be exposure, you're going to be vulnerable. But but what is wrong with being a vulnerable clown? Right, if it's going to mean that you're going to be the happiest of your life? Clown, right, if it's going to mean that you're going to be the happiest of your life.

So the next point I'll talk about is the smarter you are, the harder this gets right. So hear me out here. So high performers struggle more because they expect to be good immediately. Right, let that sink in. High performers struggle more because they expect to be good immediately. This is something which, in building my business, I've soon to realize that it's not as easy as we thought. When I started my business. I went into the first year thinking I'm going to do $100,000 in my first year. We did about 54. So we did half that and I've soon realized that, okay, this is not as easy as I thought. But I'm a high performer, like I like to absolutely do my best. But the reality was I did not know how to do that, so my best at the time was 54,000. Now I could. I could have done better if I had learned more, but the only way to learn more is to do more and to put yourself in a position to learn.

So you do not know what you do not know. So the reality around that, like we can think we have it all figured out, intelligence becomes this bit of bit of a trap. It becomes this it makes you addicted to wanting to be right. The reality is we're not always right and you don't have all the answers. And if you go into any room with the expectation that you have it all figured out, that you have all the answers, that is when you will fail, because someone will sneak up and surprise you with something else that you haven't thought of or did not know, because we do not know at all, and, bam, you're going to soon be sitting back down and realize crap like this is not what I expected and you're going to struggle with that. Right, I'm not here to put you down, but the reality is that that's how it goes. So we've got to be willing to be vulnerable, to expose ourselves to sometimes uncertainty, and to be looking maybe not necessarily smart and be looking a little bit dumb, in order for us to become a better version, because that's the only way to get to a better version.

So what if being like a beginner is the smartest move you could actually make, if you're willing to try, if you're willing to get out there, if you're willing to give it a go, if you're willing to be zero and put it all on the line like you're ahead of most other people, because so many people are too scared to even start. So whenever I said about you know, we're worried about what other people say, we're worried about what other people think, we're worried about what this person says. Now, look, there is going to be a number of people that will what this person says. Now, look, there is going to be a number of people that will like, tangibly, like you know, really, in person, tell it to your face that, no, you shouldn't do this. The doubters, the haters. Also there's you know, probably, family members that you know they want to make sure you're not throwing something away because they love and care for you. But that doesn't mean that doesn't mean it's good advice. But here's the twist At the end of the day, no one's actually listening, watching Now, I mean this in a certain way whereas the spotlight that we fear is mostly in our own heads.

Yeah, sure, of course there's people watching. I've got 4,000 subscribers. I'm documenting my journey. I've got 4,000 people that potentially see my content, if not more. But we are so embedded in ourselves that we, at the end of the day, if it comes between me choosing for you and for me, I'm going to look after myself, because we're human beings, we're selfish individuals and we only care about our lives. We walk around and we've got our own issues in our head. We think about our problems, we think about this.

You see someone walk by and they're doing you know, maybe they're bopping to music. You think, oh yeah, whatever you see it, you acknowledge it. But you know they're probably thinking, oh, that person's looking at me, but I don't really care. Like you do what you want to do, man. So people are too focused in, I guess, themselves to track your own missteps. Now there are going to be some level of people that are, you know, trying to catch you out. They're trying to trip you up. They're trying to it's tall poppy syndrome, right, and they're uncomfortable with you being successful. That's all it is. Don't let that trip you up. It's happened to me so many times. I get tripped up by it and I'm still dealing with that. It never gets easier, but the reality is there becomes less of those people because it becomes more people that are willing to come with you and see what you're doing and be motivated and be inspired by what you're doing.

I'm not talking about my business or anything. I'm talking about just you and your journey in your life and as you step up from willing to be looking dumb or stupid to go out and be excellent and create something beautiful, in the long run, you're always going to win right. So that is why it's worth it. Every time, fear shrinks when you realize you're never the center of the room. We should never go into a room thinking we are the top stuff, the hot stuff. You know why. Everyone's here right, be humble. Go in there to learn. Go in there to not expect to know everything in the room. That's how you will thrive. So when we go on that journey to grow, when we go on that journey to become a better version of ourselves, and when we go on that journey ready to look dumb, right, we will learn more than a skill, right. Every time you show up anyway. You don't just learn the thing, you learn that you can show up anyway. That's the beauty of it, right? That's the beauty of it right. And that's why it's so important that, whether you're starting at zero, you're at one, you're at 10, you're at a hundred, in terms of the steps of becoming a better version or to creating whatever it is that you want to create, you're showing up.

Confidence is built through the reps. It's not through perfection. You will never be perfect, but you can be confidently sound and that is only built by showing up, being there ready to give it a go. Right, and giving it a go. And then humility isn't weakness, it's an access point to growth. If you're willing to be like, humble and say, hey, look, yeah, I'm ready to fail, I'm ready to learn, I'm ready to look like a clown. That's how you get ahead Because so many people don't want to do it.

There's two kinds of people those that are willing to be beginners and those that are stuck pretending they're not. That's it. How many people say, ah yeah, I'm going to do this, and then 10 years have passed and they're still doing the same thing. They haven't done diddly squat. You want something. You got to go do it. Take action, be the beginner, start from zero Right time. You're going to be so much further along If you wait a year and then think I'm going to go, start now. You're a year behind. Right, and it's easier for me to say this because I've done it right and I'm doing it.

But a lot of the time we get so stuck on what other people are thinking well, not good enough. There has to be some level of risk versus reward. Now you do have to weigh up your accountabilities, your responsibilities and about doing all those things and make sound decisions based on that, but it doesn't mean you can't start in some formal manner. So I've got a couple of questions that I want to kind of leave you guys with. Number one is what are you putting off right now because you're afraid to look like a beginner. What is it? Let me know in the comments who are you afraid will see you fail? Who's the person that is making you feel insecure? Alex Hamosi talks about this all the time, and do they actually matter? And number three is what's the real cost of never trying because you're protecting your ego? The real cost is you just don't get what you want. You think you're getting what you want, but you actually never are. So I'll leave you with this.

The fear of looking stupid is the most efficient way to stay exactly where you are. And I always say it right If you want to be somewhere, if you want to be somewhere in a day's time, a week's time, a month's time, a year's time, two years, five years, 10 years time, You've got to be doing something today that is going to get you closer to where that is. And it doesn't mean that you have to have it all figured out today. It just means what are you doing that's getting you closer to that? And if you're doing that, then you're going to get there. It just means it's going to take you five years, or it's going to take you two months, or it's going to take you a couple of days, but you can't have it today. It's going to take time. It's the reps of showing up, it's the confidence, it's the repetition of being willing to look stupid, because you have to figure it out and you have to learn what you do not know.

All right, I'm going to stop there. I'm going to leave it there. Folks Really do appreciate being here. If you wanted to continue the conversation, more than happy to do so. Drop a comment down below, make sure you subscribe, share this with someone else and, yeah, we'll be back here again next week doing it all again. You have a wonderful day, cheers.