Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the Further your Lifestyle podcast conversations on lifestyle passions and hustles. My name's Chris, I'm your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you Episode 213 today and we're talking about. You already know what you need to do, so why aren't you doing it? And this is a really important conversation because, one, I think we all experience this and, two, sometimes we just need someone else to tell us this. We need to hear it from someone else.

This is something that I've always struggled with. It's a little bit about self-trust and self-confidence and all those different things, and it's very hard because there's a lot of pressure from society and a lot of pressure from other people telling us how we should be doing things. When you've got this voice and inkling inside your own that you want to be doing it this way, but then you have the competitor of yourself also telling you that you're not good enough. Look, you've probably made dozens, if not thousands, of decisions in your life, but the question you've got to ask yourself is how many of them were actually yours? How many choices have you avoided or second guessed or delayed, not because you didn't know what to do, but because you didn't trust yourself to do it and maybe you listened to the noise elsewhere. It's unfortunate. People don't fail because they didn't know. They fail because they knew and they didn't act. Imagine if I didn't do what I had decided to do five years ago and start this podcast or start a business and leave the nine to five. I would not be where I am today and I'm better for it and it always I get goosebumps from it talking about it because I did it. It's not easy and there's still plenty of challenges now, Like at the time of me filming this, like I've been in my warehouse for six weeks, but the time this me filming this, I've been in my warehouse for six weeks, but the time this comes out, it's probably been a lot longer than that, probably 12 weeks, 13 weeks.

For me, there's all these challenges that I continue to see of things, which are why I understand people give up because they feel like they can't trust themselves. They feel like they can't figure it out. They listen to the noise and they throw the towel in. But it's the ones that push through, the ones that figure out how to get through it, are the ones that are going to make their best potential life come true, and that's what I want to talk to you about today. We're talking really about self-trust and how do we work through that and how do we make it something that's part of us and true to us. So if that sounds like something you're interested in, you better buckle up.

Of course, I do encourage if you enjoy these episodes and you think it was of value to you, please subscribe, comment. You can leave a comment below, you can send a question in. You can continue the conversation. But most of all, if you enjoyed this episode, please, or if you do enjoy this episode, please share it with someone else that you think needs to hear this and help them understand. Maybe they just need to learn to trust themselves a little bit more. So we're going to roll the intro and let's get into it.

So, part one of this episode keeping it short and sweet, really just wanting to bring quick snip prompts and questions to yourself I'll probably discuss a few of my own, but the first part of this is what is self-trust? What does this actually really mean? Self-trust isn't just about confidence. It's your ability to believe one, that your intuition is valid. Two, that your decisions are sound and three, that you're allowed to act without a permission slip. Give yourself the permission to do these things, Know that your decisions, these are the right decisions, and also trust your gut. Right, If knowing it's about knowing even if I mess up, you're going to figure it up, and that sometimes doesn't actually have anything to do with the trust part, that comes down with you being willing to take ownership, take accountability, take responsibility and trust. Be willing to do what it's going to take to get through those consequences. Self-trust is the foundation of momentum. Without it, nothing moves and when you have momentum, you can do amazing things. It's like a piece of the puzzle right, you get a piece, you get another piece and you can just start to build that momentum.

So how does the fear of self-trust actually show up? I think sometimes it can be. We tend to compare, or we over-research, or we look at too many different things, we get too much information too quickly, we ask everyone else for their opinion and then we get bombarded with all these different thoughts and ideas. You get stuck in this loop of and we spoke about loops last week, but you get stuck in this loop of I just want to make sure. I just want to make sure. I just want to make sure. I just want to make sure, before you actually go, take action, you delay and you procrastinate and you call it. I'm just waiting for clarity. I'm just trying to clarify a few things. I do this all the time. I'm literally talking to myself here and you make safe decisions based on other people's expectations.

The thing that annoys the heck out of me the most is people that try to tell me how to live my life or how to operate my business or all these different things, when I have no idea who they are. I have no understanding of what value they bring in terms of experience. Have they done this themselves? It's very easy to be a backseat driver, Unless someone is operating in the same playing field of you. What do they know? Right Now? I'm happy to be proven wrong in terms of if someone not everyone has a following a platform like this or on YouTube and sharing and things like that. But you don't have to listen to all the noise from everyone else that tell you I would never do this because it makes them uncomfortable. That's not you, that's them. A lot of people don't do things because they're scared. That doesn't mean you don't do it because you're scared, because they're scared. You do it because you want to do it right. So this isn't about a lack of information. It's really about a lack of self-trust in disguise.

And why do we actually struggle with trusting ourselves? Why is that? I think it starts from an early age, where we've made mistakes before and then we let them define us. Or you grew up being taught to follow and not to lead Very cliche, very generalized, but it happens A sheep to their slaughter, you follow a sheep to their slaughter. Or you've relied on external validation for too long, or so long that it feels risky to trust your gut because you don't know how to communicate and work through your own emotions and experience and thoughts and logic. The more you ignore your inner self, your inner voice, the quieter it will become and the harder it's going to be to tap back into. That's why we struggle with ourselves so much. So there is an opportunity cost of not actually trusting ourselves. We delay taking action on the things that could literally, literally change your life for the better. We stay stuck in the decisions.

You already know the answer to. You shouldn't be doing it, but you do it anyway. Why you don't go to the gym because you say you want to, but you don't because you can't be bothered. Why? Because other people say you're not worth it or it's not making any difference. Or maybe you go to the gym and you actually don't do any work, so you don't want to go anywhere.

You know what you need to be doing, right. You live according to other people's rules and you resent it. Stuff everyone else Seriously Like what do they know about you and your life? There's plenty of people that you can learn from mentors, people that can inspire you, motivate you and encourage you. But there's so many more people that are just noise Just noise. And when you can learn to respect yourself, when you can learn to take accountability, responsibility of your life, you don't need those people. You don't need that noise, right? You miss opportunities not because they weren't there, but because you didn't say yes to them.

Now, I'm not saying you should go, say yes to every opportunity. I'm saying when you know you should be saying yes because it makes you nervous, it makes you scared, makes you uncomfortable, but it makes you excited. You know the feeling. That's the ones you should be saying yes to and figure it out. When you don't trust yourself, you live your life on pause. It's very boring. So I've got some challenges for you. First one is when was the last time you chose to not act because you didn't trust you'd get it? I've done it numerous times, but the more and more I've done it, the more and more self-aware I've become that I should have done it Because I thought I wasn't going to be able to figure it out, or it was just a bit too much at that point in time.

Now I'm all about balance. If you get a thousand opportunities come at you at the one time, you've got to pick what makes sense, right. But if you've got an opportunity that comes and you really do have the ability to do it, but you just can't be bothered, you've got to live with that consequence. What if your hesitation has nothing to do with your ability and everything to do with not trusting your own voice? We spoke about that. Question number three, or prompt number three, is what's one decision you've been putting off simply because you're waiting for someone else to validate it? It's just ridiculous. Go validate it yourself, Go prove that it works, Go test it, See what happens. And what would it look like if, just for just one week, you acted like you had nothing to prove to anyone, You'd change the world. Also, you would change your world, and that's really what matters. All right, so we've got the final part here, keeping it short and sweet. So how do we build, or how do we rebuild, self-trust?

The first thing you want to do is you want to start small. You want to make decisions for yourself daily, even minor ones, and you really want to make sure you know that's what you're doing. You need to be aware of it, you need to be understanding of it and you need to be in the moment with it. Right, you need to really start to just take a little bit of ownership of this. Keep promises to yourself. You need to learn how to follow through, and when you follow through, it is proof to your brain that you're capable.

So don't say you're going to go do something and then don't go do it. If you say you want to go for a ride, go for a ride. Even if it's 10 minutes, do it. You need to act before you feel 100% ready. If you're 80% there, go for it. If you're 60% there, yeah, it's probably okay. 50% maybe a little bit more risky, but you're never going to be perfectly ready for anything, so just jump in, give it a go and have an understanding that if it doesn't work out, you just go back to what you were doing. The other thing you should do is probably journal your past wins to remind yourself that you figured it out before, Journaling it, documenting it, tracking it. However it may be, depending on what it is that you're doing, having that information to go back on will help reiterate and rebuild and reinforce that you are more than capable of getting these things done.

You need to shut off the noise. You need to create a space and a working environment from the constant opinions and input of other people. That is just not welcomed. It might be working from someone else somewhere else. It may be getting rid of some of those people in your life. It may be changing the work environment you operate in all these different things and the last thing is you've been right before, so you'll be right again. That's all it takes. So we're going to close on this.

No one knows your life. No one knows your dream and no one knows your dream and no one knows your limits like you do. So you need to stop waiting for permission and you need to start choosing yourself first. Imagine if we put ourselves first in all that we did. There's a fine balance here of respectful to other people and things like that.

But at the end of the day, everyone's got their own crap to deal with.

Everyone's got their own problems. Everyone's got their lives to worry about. So sometimes those issues that they bring to work and put onto you, they're projecting it because they feel like poop. But the same thing you've got to look after yourself. You've got to do what's right for you and you've got to do what's going to help you further your life. That's going to get you to where you want to be. They're your dreams, they're your goals, but you also know your limits.

So the next version of your life won't come from someone else's approval. It will come from the moment you decide I trust myself and I'm going to go figure it out. That's how you're going to stop not doing the things that you should be doing, and it's time for you to make a change. It's time for you to start doing the things that you want to do and actually love yourself for it. And I'll finish with this Most people don't fail because they didn't know. They fail yourself for it. And I'll finish with this Most people don't fail because they didn't know. They fail because they did not act. So give it a go.

If you want to continue the conversation, jump down in the comments down below. More than happy for to ask a question. We can talk about it. You can hit me up on Instagram or send me an email. More than happy to continue the conversation. And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone else so we can help them make better decisions for themselves and help them stop doing the things they shouldn't be doing and do the things that they should be doing. And yeah, I really do appreciate you being here. We'll be back here again next week doing it all. Again. You have a wonderful day, Cheers.