Further Your Lifestyle

EP. 196 - Your Perspective is Holding You Back from Achieving Success! | Further Your Lifestyle Podcast

Your Host: Chris Furlong Episode 196

#furtheryourlifestyle #podcast

| Further Your Lifestyle Podcast | EP 196

Watch here: https://youtu.be/pdsPNjQIjn8

In this episode of the Further Your Lifestyle podcast, Chris dives deep into the power of perspective and how it shapes our reality. Through personal anecdotes and practical insights, he explores how viewing challenges differently can lead to growth and happiness. Chris shares his journey from leaving a nine-to-five job to pursuing his passions, emphasizing the importance of reframing situations and taking ownership. From handling rejection to finding hidden gifts in difficult situations, this episode is packed with advice on turning negativity into opportunities for personal development. Tune in for thought-provoking discussions and actionable steps to transform your outlook on life's challenges.

00:00 Welcome to Further Your Lifestyle Podcast
00:41 The Power of Perspective
02:39 Why Perspective Matters
05:36 Reframing Challenges
06:52 Shifting Blame to Ownership
08:09 Finding Hidden Gifts in Challenges
09:14 Practicing Mindfulness
12:09 Sharing Experiences for Fresh Perspectives
13:40 Real-Life Examples of Reframing
14:51 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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Speaker 1:

Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the Further your Lifestyle podcast conversations on lifestyle passions and hustles. My name's Chris, I'm your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you Episode 196 today and the question I want to ask you is have you ever thought about that? Maybe, just maybe, the problem isn't what's happening, but it's how you're seeing it, and this is an interesting statement, it's an interesting question, it's very thought provoking. But hear me out, what if the struggles we face are less about what is actually happening, but more about how we're choosing to interpret them? And that's what I want to challenge today, that's what I want to discuss. I want to have this conversation with you.

Speaker 1:

For me, there's been a moment in my life where I had a big shift in perspective and it completely changed how I approached the challenges of life, and I guess there's a number of examples of this. Coming back to when I left my nine to five to take a chance myself. And it changed my perspective because I thought that the way to get the happiness that I was seeking was to continue to work nine to five for the next 40 years, and then you'll be able to do whatever you want while working on something on the side. But I realized I just didn't have the willpower, the motivation or the energy because I was brain sucked through the week working for someone else. Now, it was nothing wrong with working for someone else, it's just the fact that I wasn't able to do both. And for me, when I realized that, what if I actually just spent the same amount of time doing the things that I love, focusing on something that's going to get me a result hopefully quicker than 40 years then wouldn't it be just as rewarding and wouldn't it be more rewarding? So I took that chance on myself. I approached that challenge with that fresh perspective and, yeah, happy days. We're five years in, got this podcast, got the reselling business, and I've never been this happy in my life and I get to do all the things that I want to do when I want to do them. However, it still requires a lot of hard work. It still requires a lot of effort and it still requires a lot of challenges. But the reality is, when you change your perspective and you change things that are around you, how you perceive them, how you look at them and what really is going on in your life, you can actually tap into some really great things, and that's because perception shapes your reality. So that's what we're talking about today.

Speaker 1:

Buckle up, it could get a little deep, it could get a little interesting. I'll be prompting myself with a whole bunch of dot points here. If there's something that strikes you or really challenges you, then please jump down into the comments. We can continue the conversation as well, more than happy to do so. Let's roll the intro and let's get into it.

Speaker 1:

So why does perspective matter when it comes to all these different things? Right, there's always so many things going on in our lives, right, there's things personal, there's things internal, there's things external. But why does perspective matter? Number one is because perception. As I said before, perception shapes reality and I guess how our thoughts and our beliefs will influence how we experience the world. So, for instance, two people can face the exact same situation, yet one will see it as an opportunity for something bigger and greater, whereas another will see it as a failure. Now, the only difference between these two things is perspective. The only other difference between these two things is maybe experience and what they've achieved in life in terms of understanding situations. So perception will change your reality and how you go about making a decision and how you go about just bringing yourself to be and I'm someone that likes to look at situations as opportunities. I try not to get focused on no, but focus on okay, yes, we can do this. We're just going to figure out how to do it. So it really comes down to the power of framing or reframing. So how we frame a situation also is going to impact our emotions and our actions.

Speaker 1:

A good example of this is when I started this podcast I used to reach out to. We started the first year and we did it with guests. I had a whole bunch of different guests on the podcast and I I was reaching out to them and I was so scared of rejection, of them saying no, what if they didn't want to? Is it a failure? No, the rejection wasn't failure. It was one I got to view it as feedback for growth, but also understanding that I can't expect everyone to just do everything that I want. Maybe it doesn't align with their style, maybe they don't even like doing those kinds of interviews. It's not about me. It was they were fair to answer the way they answered and it gave me some better perspective. It gave me some better understanding and it also gave me some empathy training as well, because just because you reach out asking for something from someone and you're expecting a certain result because that's the outcome you want, just because you don't get it doesn't mean that it's a failure, because, at the end of the day, if someone else isn't comfortable doing something, doesn't want to do something and it isn't really their jam, then they have a right to answer to that and it's actually got nothing to do with you. So the rejection isn't actually even valid in this point. It's just an opportunity for you to understand okay, yeah, it didn't work out this time, maybe we can do it another time or they might have some feedback for you. Look, it's a little different when you reach out to a job and you get rejected, but maybe you didn't have the skills. That aligns to the job that they want you to fulfill, which is fair game. Would you want someone to work for you that can't do the job? That doesn't meet the criteria? Now, obviously, it's your perspective versus their perspective, but you're not the one making the decision. They're the one making the decision.

Speaker 1:

So it is about reframing and framing these situations, because perspective will change how we look at all the different things that's happening in our lives. So, following on from this, reframing challenges, right, we need to ask ourselves better questions and, as things happen, typically we tend to ask ourselves why is this happening? To me, I'm the first to put my hand up. It's like why is this happening? Why is this happening, when really, the question we should be asking is what can I learn from this? What can I do about this? Okay, this is happening, so now what? Right? And for me, building my business, I've realized that really, it's all about solving problems and making decisions. That's going to help us continue to move forward.

Speaker 1:

And there's been times where, yes, I get frustrated. I try to figure out why is this happening? Why did this happen? Yes, you want to understand why something happened, but that doesn't necessarily ensure that you can learn from it and that you can make things better from it. You want to understand, okay, what has happened, why is it happening and what can we do about it. And how do we now move forward? What are the options that we have? Just because something is telling us no here doesn't mean we can't proceed with a yes over here, right? So how do you learn to move forward? So take those opportunities of the things going bad to leverage them to help make things be a better result or a better opportunity or a better chance at something.

Speaker 1:

The other thing is and we've spoken about this on the podcast a number of different times is shifting the blame from others right. So shift from blame to ownership. I really want to encourage you to that. You really need to focus on what you can control rather than what you can't. It's so typical of us to blame traffic for being late to places, but have you planned to ensure that there is going to be complications in traffic? Now, of course, you can't plan for a three-hour delay, traffic jam right, it's just not possible. But you know that on average, it's going to take 15 minutes to get to work. As an example, why are you not being diligent and just leaving 20 minutes early, meaning like, rather than leave 15 minutes to get to leave 20 minutes? So you've got a five minute buffer. Traffic jams or someone pulling out or you getting stuck at a red light or whatever. It's going to be very minimal time impact, but it also makes sure that you're on time. You have your schedule and you're being accountable for it. You're taking ownership of it. So you can control that. You can control not being late by adding in a five-minute buffer If you still have delays. That's out of your control, right? You cannot control every scenario, but take some ownership, remove the blame and see if you can uplift that area of those challenges, right.

Speaker 1:

The other one is finding hidden gifts. Now, this one you're thinking. What are we talking about? See, challenges. When challenges arise, they often carry lessons or opportunities which we don't always see at first, and that's why we're able to expand our comfort zones and become a better version of ourselves. Sometimes losing a job at first it's going to feel devastating, it's going to be hard to comprehend, but it might actually have pushed people to start their own businesses. It's something maybe they wouldn't have done in the first place. Now, for me, I knew that unless I was to get fired, I wasn't going to be able to leave from my job because I was doing a good job. If I wanted to go build my own business, I was going to have to rip that bandaid off myself. But I have hid countless times. A good example is Pat Flynn. He's got the SPI podcast. He was made redundant. He started online blogging regular blogging and then he moved into podcasting and that's how he built his business, because it forced him to do something which was a hidden gift, and sometimes they're hidden gems, sometimes they're silver linings that we don't realize.

Speaker 1:

So we want to focus on changing the way we see it, and a great way to do this is practicing mindfulness. Now, some of you might think this is a little airy-fairy, but I want to encourage you to. When things happen, when you're thinking about things, when things aren't going to plan, maybe when things are going to plan, you want to observe your thoughts without judgment, to better understand how you're going to react. And a good example of this is and sometimes I usually take the benefit for the doubt I try to always put myself in other people's shoes. I try to apply a lot of empathy. I try to really be upfront in terms of vulnerable and open to hearing what people have to say before I jump on it, because, especially if I have a level of respect or I'm a friend or I'm acquainted with someone because sometimes the way we come out with words, sometimes the way we say things, aren't always the way we intend to say them, but they come out of context. So if someone surprises me by saying something I'm going to think that doesn't seem like them. What are you trying to say here and really understand? To make sure that I'm not projecting my own issues in that statement or context Sounds weird.

Speaker 1:

Best way to do this is some people do journaling. Some people work through their thoughts and some of the different things that they're feeling, but it's very easy for us to jump to negative conclusions, get defensive. It's very common to do. I know for me. I'm speaking from my own experience. Maybe not for you, but for me I do. So the way I have to go through that is first, as things happen, reread it. Make sure is there a possibility that I'm reading this wrong because of my own insecurities, my own issues? And that's what I'm really trying to say here is you want to check yourself before you wreck yourself as things happen, as issues occur, as challenges arise, make sure you're not putting your weight on top of that.

Speaker 1:

Some of these challenges that arise or questions or statements or feedback or whatever it's really got nothing to do with us. Sometimes they just occur because they occur. So, before you get so blown up out of perspective, actually just think about it and look at it as okay, get rid of your own fluff, get rid of your own issues. Don't project your insecurities onto it and actually try and just look at it as a standing individual, cutoff from all your own perspectives originally and see if it actually just applies of oh okay, it's just a bad day, it's got nothing to do with what you've done and just trying to be mindful about it, being self-aware. That might have seemed a little bit like over the top, because now me thinking about it like I'm really getting a bit deep here. But a lot of the time we overthink things and what I'm trying to encourage you is, as things happen, just try to observe what you're experiencing. Is that even relevant to what's occurring? Because it might just be because you already have had a bad day, so you're overreacting. Just take a moment, breathe, count to five, count to 10, and work through it slowly.

Speaker 1:

The other thing that we can do is, as things occur, it's really important to actually share your experiences, share your struggles. There's a really good value in doing so and it helps you get fresh perspective right. There's been times I've spoken to my friends where I thought I've been stuck, when really I've just been scared to execute. I spoke about that at the start, when I started my podcast as well, and I was just fearful of it, whereas when I changed the perspective that well, you're just scared to start, yes, but I'm actually doing my audience a disservice by not starting it started to me just really realizing no, I do have this, it's just that I just got to do it, and that helps reframe and it changes everything. So my encouragement to you is make sure you do talk to other people, get some insight, get some encouragement to help reframe situations.

Speaker 1:

The other thing is then also zoom out. Zoom out and understand. What does the bigger picture look like? It helps us see that some of these problems are actually smaller and more manageable. The issues that I was dealing with in year one of my business they're just so small now, whereas now I've got bigger fish to fry and I guarantee you in a couple of years time they will be not big issues at all. They will just be small, little things that we overcome with no issues. And when you stop focusing on those short-term discomforts, you can start to see how those small issues of discomfort were preparing you for longer-term resilience and discipline and to be a better version of yourself.

Speaker 1:

Just in case people maybe are missing the point here I've got some examples of how to reframe in real life. So maybe there's workplace challenges. A good example would be maybe you have a tough boss and maybe the way to reframe that is obviously, of course, if they're staying within lines, that they're not a tough boss, they're a teacher and then, rather than someone that is, you know, coming at you with adversary, sometimes people are tough because they want you to be tough and look, maybe that's not a good example, but sometimes we get so focused on oh, this person's, they're too hard on me or they're too rough, or they're too tough, when really they're actually just a teacher to help you become a better version of yourself and you just need to grow up. Another one could be personal growth, viewing failure as a stepping stone to success. I think this is a huge key one because it's so easy to do. We get so stuck on that we're a failure, when really you just got to take a step forward.

Speaker 1:

The other one is like everyday annoyances, like turning a rainy day into a chance to slow down and just reflect. Maybe you can't do what you had planned to do today because of the weather or whatever situation. So what can you do? Maybe take some time, chill out, use that as your advantage. So I want to challenge you. The next time you face a challenge, I want you to stop. I want you to ask yourself this question how else can I see this? How else can I think about this? What else can I do in this situation? And you might be surprised with the possibilities that actually open up. And the other thing is what's one situation in your life right now that could completely change if you looked at it differently? I don't have the answer for it, but I want you to go through this episode, take what you need from it and see if you can reapply it to your life and use it to make better decisions this year.

Speaker 1:

Turn perspective around, turn those things that aren't necessarily feeling positive and make them positive, because you'll be able to tackle them from a new perspective. Ask for some help. Reach out to your friends, family, all those close ones that you can trust. Get some perspective and be willing to maybe turn things around. Maybe you're feeling stuck, when maybe you just need to take action and actually just push away the fear and move forward. A lot of the time, that's what it is. That's probably one of the best examples of this is personal growth is we're so focused on that, we're stuck, that we can't make progress when really we're just too scared to start. Appreciate you being here. If you do have any questions, thoughts, comments, drop them down below. More than happy to continue the conversation. If you enjoyed this, like subscribe and, of course, if you think someone else can resonate with this episode, please send it to them and get them to have a listen as well. Appreciate you being here. You have a wonderful day. Cheers.

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