Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the Further your Lifestyle podcast conversations on lifestyle passions and hustles. My name's Chris, I am your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 190 today and we've just kicked off December for 2024. We are so close to the end of the year and my first challenge to you before we get into the episode is are you doing something today that is going to get you closer to where you want to be in 2025? Don't wait till the 1st of January. Start today. All right, and that is how you're going to quickly further your lifestyle is. Do not put off what you can do today. Right, one thing that's going to get you closer. I just wanted to challenge you on that Today's episode.

We're getting into another question, and this one is very personal to myself, something that I I mean I talk about it always here on the channel, whether it's the podcast or in my videos around reselling and my business, but it's a very important conversation and that is about mental health, and I think it's very important because we're all human and we all go through things struggles, challenges, crap and unfortunately, there's some really, really nasty people that obviously hide behind screens and make other people's lives miserable, whether they intend to do that probably not because they're hurting themselves, but for me, that then obviously puts more weight on the already existing issues, which are the ones that I want to talk about today. And the question is how do you handle self-doubt when it creeps in and what strategies do you use to stay confident? Jeepers, I mean, this is a huge conversation around imposter syndrome, self-confidence, and I want to try and provide you guys with how I go about managing the doubt and how I keep moving forward. We're going to jump into this. Get cozy. If you do enjoy the episode, hit the thumbs up, subscribe and share it, but let's roll the intro and let's get into it. The first thing is you know imposter syndrome? I think we need to really just well, for me, I like to speak about it freely and openly, because the reality is, you are going to feel it at some stage or not, whether you are in denial about it or not.

Going through life is tough, whether you're a kid, teenager, moving into adulthood and then beyond. It's very common in obviously professional and creative spaces, but I'm finding it's becoming more and more common just in as we try to grow, and I mean some people don't realize this is imposter syndrome, but it's really just the anxiety and the voices you hear in your head and the things that make you feel like you're not good enough to do this. So that's a huge part, I think, for me. I feel it in depth is because I am building my own business and I'm doing this by myself and I'm trying to make this work. I'm trying to make this succeed and I'm trying to get this to something which is going to change my life for the better and give me a better life than I had working for someone else. And to think that I'm capable of making those decisions is hard to comprehend, because I can't comprehend now what I'm capable of doing when I haven't done it. However, I do know I want to be able to do all those things.

A real basic way to look at this that might be relevant for you is when you grow up and you say you want to be a certain person in a certain career, or you know you want to build a business that generates $10 million. Why 10 million? I'm just picking a random number, but you try and fathom that right now and you think $10 million. You know I haven't even had you know $200,000 or something. It's very hard to fathom because we don't know what we don't know. So therefore, already we're putting all these pressures and barriers and boundaries and obstacles and challenges to ourselves and our way of thinking, because we think it's not possible or it's too hard to think about doing, because we don't even know how to do it. That's the only reason is you do not know how to do it. And I think that's the key thing here is we need to get over ourselves, you need to get out of your way. You need to give yourself the permission, give yourself some positive affirmation and actually just start taking the steps forward.

Last week, we spoke about what are you doing today that's going to get you one step closer to where you want to be, or is this going to get you one step closer to where you want to be? If you're doing that, you're doing it in small cookie chunks, you're doing it in small steps, you're doing it in crumbs, right, slowly, steadily, you're learning, you're adapting, you're trying new things and obviously there's going to be some big lessons made, some big mistakes not failures, just lessons and mistakes and that continues to divert you to where you need to be going. So that's my thoughts on it. The challenge I have with all this is what fuels the imposter syndrome is the negative Nancys, the negative culture, but also tall poppy syndrome here in Australia I mean. That's everywhere on the internet as well People that when they see success or they see people with a dream, they bring you down and over the last four weeks I've really had a big perspective change on this that people's issues with you.

You know, if they are bringing you down or they say it's not possible or you can't do it or it's unrealistic, or they bring out all the negative things or why you can't do it, or why you won't succeed, or why you're failing or why you're not good enough. It's got actually nothing to do with you, it's got nothing to do with me. It's actually all their own issues that they're projecting onto you because they're not capable of doing that themselves, or they don't believe they can do it themselves, or they don't think it's possible in their minds, in their heads, which is I get it. That's where they're at in life, and the beauty is it's not to say that you or me are better than any of these people, because we're not. These people are just as powerful and can have the world that they want, but unfortunately they're so stuck in their headspace, in their little boxes, that they're unable to think outside the box.

The other thing is my dream is my dream. I can see it as clear as day. I can see where I want it to be, what it's going to look like, how I'm shaping it and what I want that to be. No one else can say that. You can't even see my dream. I can't see your dream. That's why I don't talk about your dreams. I talk about my dreams because that's all I can reflect on, no-transcript. But I can chant for you, I can encourage you, I can. You know woo-woo for you, but I can't do that for you, right? It's your dream, so you need to figure out how to make that happen.

Now there are some other psychological drivers of you know, apart from other people causing problems, there's the fear of fear of failure, right, and you know I put off things because I'm scared of having to deal with them, or I'm I'm scared that the outcome is going to be worse than I expected. So I put it off, put it off, put it off, and probably nine out of 10 times. It's nowhere near as bad as I thought, but it doesn't mean it gets easier. So how do I get through that? Is it slow and steady, one step at a time? Right, I know I talk about this so much, but it really comes down to okay, what is one thing I can do today that gets me closer to where I need to be? Break it down, go slow. You've got plenty of time. Now, I don't mean that in the terms of wait till you're 20 and do it, or wait till you're 40 and do it. What I'm saying is, if you're waiting till you're 40 and you're 20, that's 20 years. So spend slow amounts of time and consistency over 20 years to do that, but don't delay it for 20 years. Just do it slowly over 20 years, because you'll thank yourself in 20 years. The best time to plant a tree is now right, because in 15 years it'll be big, but you can't plant it in 15 years and expect it to be there. It just doesn't work.

The other thing is comparison culture and, as I said, I'm trying to change my perspective on this is the habit of comparing. The thing I struggle with is I mean, comparing used to be a big one for me is because I see what other people are doing and I want like that, but the reality is you're only seeing a highlight reel. I think what you need to do is take inspiration from others to understand what is possible and what you can achieve, but, at the same time, don't let it define who you are or the baseline or the possibility of the best you can be. Obviously, it is a benchmark in some capacity, because that's all you've got to compare results to. The only person you should be comparing to is yourself. Is you? Where were you a year ago? Where were you six months ago? Where were you five years ago? Are you progressing in the direction that is a better version of yourself? That's it, simply.

The other thing that frustrates me is when people compare themselves to me. Right, and that one's just as bad, because I think I'm not here to be compared to. My journey is my journey, your journey is your journey. You do you, you do you, I'll do me. You know that's the reality of it, but when people start comparing to me, it almost makes me feel like I then have a responsibility, and I don't want that responsibility. I'm not responsible for your success and your ability to be able to achieve.

And if you're, you know starting. If you, for instance, I document my reselling journey right, I've been doing it for four years now. If someone starts and they start saying, oh, you're getting 20 sales a day, I'm only getting one, what am I doing wrong? You're not doing anything wrong. You just haven't been doing it for four years and you haven't got the volume, you haven't got the experience, you haven't got the ability to source like I do, you haven't all these different things. It's not because you're doing anything bad, right, it's just because you haven't done the reps. You haven't built, you know, the small little empire, that's all it is. Your consistency pays off. So, you know, if you get to four years and I hadn't done anything and nothing changed for four years for myself and we were at the same level and you know, maybe then you were only getting one sale, then we can start to think, okay, what is wrong? Right, but it's not a like for like, compare.

So you really need to continue to make sure you understand this comparison culture. Don't understand it in terms of spend time on it, but just understand that. It's just, it's ridiculous. You do not need it in your life for you to be comparing to others or others to be comparing to you. It doesn't make sense.

Now there are a few pain points that I think, other than the comparison part that do pop up, and I think it's the what do you call it? Paralysis or numbing of self-doubt. And because you get so stuck on the self-doubt, you become how do I say this? You, basically, you fail to take action. There is an inaction. Because you're doing that, you stop taking steps that's going to enable you to pursue opportunities or, I guess, take risks to be able to achieve. When you have that doubt, you're unable to move forward. So the way I tackle this is, again, slow and steady. Slow and steady, get out of it. I mean, we do need to have a way to be able to vent, share, get it off our chest. I talk about it openly here. That's the best way for me If I'm answering the question how do I handle self-doubt when it creeps in? I talk about it openly, but I also slow it down and do it in smaller chunks. That's really the bread and butter, if that's all you want. That's the too long, didn't read version of this episode.

But the other thing is that I think people tend to do and I do it myself is we go on this self-sabotage mission where we take on things, small projects, small quests, little activities that make us feel productive, that make us feel great, but it has no relevance to where we need to be going or what we should be doing. But you do it because it makes you feel better for the small amount of time, but it actually has no value for the rest of things. You know, you might say I'm going to go clean up all this stuff. Now. You do all that because you couldn't be bothered handling something else. Now the cleaning up is going to be great for two reasons. One, you've cleaned up the space. It might actually help you refresh your headspace, and then you're ready to go do the other thing. But a lot of the time we end up putting these things to the side or we take on other work to bury ourselves away from the thing that we need to be doing, and that is self-sabotage. So you've got to be careful with that one.

I think the other thing to reflect on is for me. You know, I caught up with a friend the other week and we spoke about I called him out. I called him out and because he was saying you know, I should have been doing this. I want to see the results. I haven't got the results and I want to start. And I said that's great. And then there was all these you know, fears or things. I want to do it when this happens because I think this is a better time. And I said that's BS. Right, because if you had started a year ago and you had just done a little bit of work for the whole year, you would be in a better position. Now.

I'm not saying you need to solve, you know, world hunger. You know over a year, but you know you might want to work out how do I build some content that's consistent to an audience over a year? Well, you need to be posting on a regular basis, you need to be creating, you need to be showing up, you need to be putting in the reps, you need to be doing things. And I said imagine if I had given up. You know, years ago, when people told me that what I want embarking to do is not possible, I had so many people tell me that I cannot do what I'm doing. It's just not possible. Tell me that I can not do what I'm doing. It's just not possible, like to be profitable. I haven't had a negative month yet. I've had some very low months, but you know it's still working and the reality is it's like In their head it's not possible. It just hasn't worked for them. But it is working for me and I'm going to make it work and continue to make it work, because they do not get to define me and it really comes down to being resilient, taking action, figuring things out, problem solving.

But it is the power of action that is all of those things encompassed. Action is problem solving. Action is doing the work. Action is doing the reps. Action is doing the reps. Action is asking the questions. Action is changing you know the way you operate. Action is doing all these different things. That is going to ensure that you are moving forward in the right direction. By no action you don't make progress. Right, you got it. You got to be making action. Even if you make a mistake, even if you have to take a lesson, that is making progress, all right. So I think I think the big key thing here is, as I said, you know, if you're really wanting to know the quick tip of what is is like. Well, you know, it's just going slow and talking to someone about how to deal with it right and being open about it.

My, I guess my main thing that I want to leave you all with is the mindset shift of the doubt, the noises that come into your head, the voices, the things that challenge you Most of the time I can pretty much be very sure 90% of the time those reasons those voices are coming is because you are about to embark on something that you've never done before. You're about to embark on something that's going to create a better version of you. You are about to embark on something that you've never done before. You're about to embark on something that's going to create a better version of you. You're about to embark on something which is going to create something which is beautiful, different and beyond your even current imaginable or that you could have fathomed. I lost my words there.

It's your mind saying hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I don't know this. That's all it is. It's literally. It does not know what it does not know, so it is being defensive. It is pushing back and saying hang on, hang on, slow down, hang on when really. That's why, if you can do it. Slowly and steadily, you will build that confidence and then it becomes easier.

The problems that I've had a year ago are no longer problems now. They're just whatever. The problems I have today are new and I don't know how to deal with them. Or I don't know how to solve them, or I'm dealing with the next big decisions I have to make, or risks or challenges. It will either work out or it won't. Either way, I'm going to learn and I'll know what to do next, because if it does work, I'll do it again. If it doesn't work, I'll know that. Well, don't do that again. Let's try something else. Right, that's all it is. But I guess we get so scared because it's our lives, and so you should. We want the best lives for ourselves, but most of the time it's a mindset shift and really just understanding that what we're doing is creating a new and better version of ourselves, of what we do not know and we have not experienced it. So therefore, we have no way to manage it or fathom it or handle it, and that's all it is. So that's how I manage it. I would love to hear from you how do you manage these kind of things? Do you struggle with this. Are you open about it? Let me know in the comments, maybe.

If you want to share, no pressure, appreciate being here. If you did enjoy this episode, I do encourage you to hit subscribe. Share it with someone else. If you're on the audio version, jump onto the app and leave a review or give it a rating. That would mean the world to me. But yeah, as I said before, the best thing that you can do for the podcast is actually share it.

So if you enjoyed this, if you think this will resonate with someone else, send them the episode link, tell them why they should listen to it, even a timestamp from the episode. Send it to them if you think this could change their lives, because, for me, I want to help further everyone's lives. I want to help further your lifestyle. But I can only share what I'm doing to further my own, which is only a component up until a certain point of time, where we're up to today, which is the. You know I'm actually filming this back in October, but it's the 1st of December. I can only tell you what I know up until this point, and as I grow, I will continue to share more. So there's probably someone else that needs to hear this of where they are in their journey to further their own lifestyle. Appreciate your help. Appreciate your support. Thanks for being here and you have a wonderful day. Cheers.