Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the Further your Lifestyle podcast conversations of lifestyle passions and hustles. My name's Chris, I am your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 167 today, and we're talking about this is the reality. There's a few points here that have really been challenging myself, really been hitting me home hard, and I want to talk to you about them. And number one is it won't always be what we expect. It will never be as simple as the linear process or process or progress will never be as simple as just being linear. The journey has many surprises. I think we all know this. And then the other one is this one gets a little bit complex is do not mix up false expectations, unrealistic expectations, with the reality of what is to happen, what is happening or what needs to happen. A lot in that one. We're going to dive straight into this one. Buckle up. There's a lot of different things here that I'll be jumping in between. Yeah, get cozy and let's dive in. Oh, yeah, roll the intro.

As I said, there's a number of different points here that I want to go through and I'll give you a bit of context for each one and then maybe we'll dive into maybe a little bit about challenging mindsets and how do we embrace the changes, of what all of this means. That might sound a bit confusing, but you'll get the context in a minute. And then I probably also want to talk about how do we implement things in our lives like such as change for a better lifestyle, and there's a few components or key elements we should really take into account when trying to implement change. And then we'll probably dive into a few other little talking points and things that I think are very relevant to this conversation. So the first point that I was mentioning and talking about was it won't always be what we expected. Life is full of surprises. If you didn't already know that, life is going to be full of surprises, and sometimes things don't go to the plans that we have or according to plans of what we expected, and that's okay. We need to learn how to embrace the unexpected, and when we do that, we can learn to grow and we can learn to have new opportunities. That's the context of that.

The other one was then it will never be as simple as a linear process or making progress, and that process is never linear, it's never really, or it rarely ever is a straight path. It just isn't that simple. It's a series of ups and downs or I like to call it the roller coaster and there's a few detours in there, there's a few side quests and sometimes even we have to step backwards, we have to slow down. But when we look at it from the right perspective, we can understand that each experience, whether good or bad, it contributes to our growth and that's the key part, right? So that's that one.

And then the third one was the journey has many surprises. Like the roller coaster, there's ups and downs, lefts and rights, and along the way we have to encounter it's not a matter of will we. It's more about when will we encounter unforeseen challenges and also opportunities. They're not always going to be challenges, but the reality is these surprises. They will test our resilience and test our adaptability, test our decision-making and test our ability to pivot, adjust and react, and ultimately it will make us stronger one way or another and hopefully lead us to being more resourceful. And ultimately it will make us stronger one way or another and hopefully lead us to being more resourceful.

And then the fourth point that I wanted to dive into. This one's where it's a bit more complex, maybe, maybe not. Do not mix false expectations, unrealistic expectations, with the reality of what is to happen or what should be happening or what you need to do all those different things. It is really important to differentiate between what we hope for and what is realistic. I'm experiencing this myself at the moment, which is why it's close to heart. But when we set expectations, we need to set realistic expectations. Maybe sometimes having no expectations is the best way to do it, but when we do this, it helps us stay grounded and better prepared for when things don't go as we planned in the journey ahead. So that's really what we're talking about today, and there's a few different mindsets that we can challenge against when it comes to these different things. Like number one, it won't always be what we expect.

So the reality check here is we often set out with this clear vision, like how many times have you started a new year and say this year is going to be my year. I'm going to get out there, do this, do that. I'm going to lose weight, or I'm going to become that, or I'm going to get that promotion, I'm going to earn lots of money, I'm going to save more, or I'm going to run a marathon all these different things throwing in a few curve balls, and it's like a game of dodgeball. Sometimes these balls are coming out from left and center. You never know where they're going to pop up and you are dodging them or trying to, and sometimes they will hit you, smack in the face.

And when we accept that things might not go as planned, it helps us build that resilience and adaptability. And then, on the contrary, there is this growth opportunity when it comes our way. So, when the things don't go as expected, how do we then leverage that and turn that into an opportunity to learn and into growth? So, instead of being discouraged, we should ask ourselves this question what can I learn from this experience? I know it seems a little cliche or a little simple, but when we do that, we can embrace the unexpected. We can then help it lead us into new paths or new opportunities that maybe we had not considered before.

Now, I've gone down the path numerous times where I've had to do the unexpected, maybe in my previous job, when I was working the nine to five, taking on a side hobby. And what we mean by a side hobby is when the boss wants you to step up, step out of your comfort zone and he gives you another task, he gives you something else to own, he tells you to fill in for someone else and then you start to take on that ownership and I look at it as, oh, I don't really want to do this, I don't have time for it. But then you start to realize how that plays out and how that makes you better, because you're able to have new opportunities, you meet with new people, you have to work in a different way. It stretches you. You start to realize what is priority, what is not. It helps you learn to delegate. It helps you learn to manage your time better. All these different things. It's a growth opportunity. That's just one example.

For point number two, it will never be a simple or linear process. Unfortunately, we don't know this until we know it, meaning a lot of the time it comes through experience. But nonlinear progress, it's just a guarantee right? Success is rarely a straight line. No one has gone super straight just up all the time all the way to success. It just does not exist, even like the great people that are billionaires now. The amount of obstacles, challenges, hurdles they've had to jump through to get to where they are. It was always going to be a series of peaks and valleys, and they've had setbacks, they've had to change, they've lost a lot of money, they've gained a lot of money, they've sacrificed things, they've had to make changes, they've had to take detours, they've had to pivot All these different things.

But when we understand that that's the reality of, we need to leverage that to help us manage how we then go about staying motivated while trying to go towards where it is we want to go. So we have to identify that each setback is actually a chance to reassess and come back stronger. And that's where the mind shift comes into here, or mindset shift comes into play. Here is when we shift our mindset away from expecting smooth and linear progress but anticipating that rollercoaster ride. We can gain that resilience a lot quicker. But I think the way we can counter it as well is celebrate the wins along the way, use the moments of setback as a chance to jump back, to learn and to apply new lessons. And how does it apply to our long-term goals? How's it now going to get us closer to our long-term goals? Just because you have a setback doesn't mean you still can't go to where you want to be. It just might mean it takes a little bit longer or you have to adjust or change or find a better way.

The journey has many surprises. The key thing here that I want to talk about is embracing the surprise. I'm not one that's huge on being spontaneous, but life is unpredictable. We can control so much of it, but there's a lot of uncontrollables and look, this can be positive and it can be negative. Best of both worlds. And when I say it's a positive, it might actually be like an opportunity in disguise, but these come along and they test our flexibility, they test our problem-solving skills, they test our resilience and I know it's very easy to say this because there's challenges that I'm going through myself right at the moment and learning how to embrace these and not really get stuck on resisting them. It allows us to take a better way of looking at it from a personal and professional growth perspective.

Sometimes we get so stuck in the now and in the moment and the things we want now, even though the things we want now is the stuff in the future. You can't get to the stuff in the future until you go through now and multiple more nows, just because you have a setback of three weeks, four weeks, four months, even it doesn't mean you can't get to where you want to be in five years. It really doesn't, because it's not even 10% right. That's that point. And to my further point around the opportunity in disguise, sometimes, when we have setbacks, it puts us in a new position where we have to do something else. It means we have to pull back, it means we have to go attend something else. Maybe the plans were canceled, maybe we didn't go out, maybe we have an opportunity to do something else and that in itself can lead us on a path that's going to get us quicker to where we want to be, because it might mean we have to pivot or adjust. Or maybe now something else occurs because we were available, or we were readily available, or we had the time to do it. Think about this for a moment. Reflect on the past. How many times is something that you wanted to do was planned for didn't go as planned? Maybe it was cancelled and then something else has happened? Do this for a moment. Reflect on the past where maybe you've had something where it didn't go as planned, or maybe you got pulled out of something, or maybe some plans were cancelled and then you attended something else, or you went and did something else, or you you drove somewhere else, or you got to connect with someone else, and how that's now actually shaped your journey for the better. There you go, a perfect example.

Number four was do not mix up the false expectations and unrealistic expectations with the reality of what is to happen. We spoke about realistic goals, and that's really what it is. We need to make sure we have realistic goals, setting these. They need to be achievable, goals in the sense of like attainable. Now, I'm not saying set things that are very easy to be attained, because then it would like you're not growing, but you do want to make sure you've got things that aren't going to lead to frustration and burnout, but enough to align you to where you want to be, where you want to be going, and have some level of growth elements to them. But they have to be realistic in making sure that they are possible to achieve.

Right and understand the facts, understand what you're working with, understand the situations, so that you can then which is point number two make those continuous adjustments as well. Maybe it's a little too easy. Can you ramp it up a bit more. Maybe it's a bit too hard. Can you throttle back? All these different things should be key elements of our goals, and then, I guess, learning to be flexible with those and how we adjust our expectations. It will keep us grounded and keep us focused on what is truly important.

So, when it comes to all these different things, especially when we talk about change, there is some things that we can really bring into life, or into our lives to help with that, and there's a few key points here. Number one is self-awareness. When we understand where we are currently, both mentally and in the physical as well, it can help us regulate or, I guess, monitor the expectation setting so much better, and I might see where you're actually limiting your growth. A challenge for you is to reflect on your past experiences where things didn't go as planned and what you learned from them. When you can understand that, or when you do a compare of why things are working well this year versus not last year, versus why things went better last year compared to this year, you can bring in the key elements, be self-aware about it. Is it you? Is it something else? Is it something you're in control of? Is it something that you are not in control of it then will help you understand the reality of the situation and making those changes that are needed to help you have a better lifestyle or to further your lifestyle Adaptability.

When we cultivate an adaptability to our lifestyle by regularly stepping out of our comfort zones, it does mean we will embrace new opportunities. It means we will learn more things, even though it is daunting. This week, actually at the time of me filming this, I've stepped out of my comfort zone. I've taken a new leap into the business. I actually got another storage unit by the time this has come out, it's been a couple of weeks anyway, but this is my fourth storage unit. I never thought I was going to have a fourth storage unit. I never thought I was going to have a third storage unit, but the reality is opportunities come up, I need to adapt, I need to solve a problem and I'm able to make those decisions in real time because I have the understanding, I'm self-aware of the situations and I'm flexible in being adaptable. So I know that this is the next best step to help me grow, which leads me to point number three, which is growth mindset.

When we have a growth mindset, knowing that, okay, what will this do? If I take this today, what will it do for me for the future? Is it going to make my life better? Is it going to make my life easier? Is it going to get me closer to where I want to be, no matter how small it is and it is a challenge to still overcome, but it's an opportunity to enable that growth to occur right Now.

With that, we also need to take into account and this is another point realistic planning. When we plan with a level of realism, we can put things that are achievable in place. It's good to know that. Okay, if I did this last year, let's aim for a little bit more this year, but let's also put a stretch goal. Let's see if we can push it even a bit further. And when you do that, you're able to then give yourself something to go for further, because sometimes we do have luck on our side and we get better opportunities, which gets us closer to where we want to be. Also, sometimes things don't work out the way we expect it, but when we break down our goals into more manageable, smaller steps, we can, on a regular basis, review them and see if we're actually getting the traction we need to make the progress which then, in the full of it all, helps us build this level of resilience, or resilience building through self-awareness, through self-care.

And you do need a strong support system, others reaching out and supporting you and helping you. We can engage in activities that's going to enable us to stay through the thick of it. And what I mean by that is when you're juggling all these different things, trying to grow, dealing with misaligned expectations, things not going as well as you expected. You need to have a way to be able to grow that mental stability or build that resilience. That might be through going through activities, having side hobbies, having a mentor, having a support group, finding ways to do that, because it's going to come regardless, the resilience is going to be needed regardless, so you just have to find a way to continue to regulate that or, I guess, grow that. That's really the most of what I really wanted to talk to you about.

Right, life is unpredictable. There's things that we can control so much, there's things that we think we have control of, and then there's things that just will sweep the rug out of under our feet. And that's the beauty of life Even when things are going really bad, things can change for the better, but also, when things are going really good, things can change for the worse. And we need to make sure that, when it comes to our personal lives, our professional pursuits and then everything in between, that there is that level of willingness to change, because if you're not willing to change, you will struggle to grow and you will struggle to be able to overcome yourself to become a better version of yourself. Right, it's never as simple as we expect. Sometimes it can be very simple, but that's only through repetition and that's only through experience, and that's only from going through a journey of ups and downs because you learn to understand what's coming, what's it going to look like, how will you adapt to it, how will you change to it, how will you flow with it. And that becomes with being self-aware, being ready to adapt, understanding your mindsets, being realistic and continuously adjusting along the way.

Lots in this episode. Please, I have a question for you how do you go about dealing with reality checks when it comes to making change or wanting to see a progress and not really getting it? Is it something that you fall back onto when you start blaming yourself, or is there other things that you put into place to help ensure that you're looking at it from a constructive and a pragmatic way, because I know for me personally, I sometimes get so stuck up in it and I start blaming myself. But situations come as they come and you can never really plan for everything. But what you can do is use this toolkit in the sense of understanding, having the mindsets, being willing to adapt, looking for the positives, finding the opportunities in the lows all these different things and that's going to enable you to thrive as you go through this nonlinear journey of what we call life.

Appreciate you being here. If you do have any questions or any comments or anything that you want to talk about to continue the conversation, please chuck it down below in the comments here on the YouTube. If you're here listening, jump over to the YouTube. You can say hi. You can pick up the podcast Further your Lifestyle just going to my YouTube channel, which is CL Furlong. We have this releasing, obviously, every Sunday. Now, if this episode did resonate with you, share it with someone, share it with someone that really needs to have a reality check and understand that maybe the reality that they're trying to live isn't really aligning to the reality of what's actually going on and I think this is a big hard hitter for me. It has been, as I've been trying to work through a few little problems of my own just with running and things like that, and it's sometimes hard to swallow but the reality is, when we do have a better understanding, it does make that reality better to fathom, comprehend and swallow. Appreciate you being here. You have a wonderful day. Cheers you.