EP. 151 - When in DOUBT... Zoom Out! | Further Your Lifestyle Podcast

Speaker 1: 0:00

Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the Furlier Lifestyle podcast Conversations on Lifestyle Passions and Huzzles. My name's Chris, I'm your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 151 today. And today we're talking about when in doubt zoom out. Now this is a strong message to myself.

Speaker 1: 0:19

In the last couple of weeks, I've been dealing mentally with just the self-doubt imposter syndrome and things that just are the things that I'm doing actually working? And I've had so many questions around or doubts around is what I'm doing working? Is what I've started going to work out? I've been having days where it's like have I made a bad decision or is this the right decision? And also thinking about what if things don't get any better, and what will I do if they don't, or how will I fix it, or what's the plan, and it goes on and on and on. And I figured, well, if this sounds like something that you're dealing with or if this sounds like questions that you're asking yourself, when I figured, well, this is probably perfect for an episode and that is the question to you Do these things sound like things that you're asking yourself, that you're being challenged with, that you are maybe struggling with? And if it is well, then this is the perfect episode for you to help you further your lifestyle. Let's roll the intro. The intro, the intro, the intro, the intro, the intro, the intro, the intro.

Speaker 1: 1:25

So, as I said, I've been dealing with a lot of this stuff and it's purely in the business. I've been taking a lot of risks and trying different things and I've actually had quite a lot of interesting feedback from outside of my business Other people, competitors, peers, friends, fellow people doing exactly the same thing as me and I've had some interesting feedback on that and some of that has obviously really encouraged me and really motivated me and some of that's actually made me question is what I'm doing not going to work out, and it's kind of scared me out a little bit. But at the same time, I run numbers, I take calculated risks, but the reality is we're human, right. Well, there's going to be a bit of worry and doubt does pop up, but then there's the imposter syndrome side that pops up around am I good enough, am I capable of doing this? And then there's the whole tall poppy syndrome thing, which is a common thing here in Australia, where, when people do tend to be successful or make a level of success that other people pull them down, and I've been dealing with that. I've been dealing with that a lot and some of it is self-imposed, but it's been real.

Speaker 1: 2:32

And look, I want to be open and frank here. I always have been, but I'll always say it just in case if you are new here and actually before we get into this if you are new here, welcome to the Further your Lifestyle podcast and I really do appreciate you swinging by. If you're new and you enjoy this hit, like If you're watching it on the YouTube, hit, subscribe, follow along. Otherwise, if you're listening to this, leave a review, reach out to me, let me know how you found it. And the best thing that I can ask you to do if you want to help the podcast is actually share it. If you think this is going to be something of value to someone else after listening to it, share it with someone else. And, of course, if you do want to sponsor the podcast, you are more than welcome to do so. You can do that via YouTube by clicking join and there's a podcast sponsor. And when I say podcast sponsor, it just means you're going to be helping. Keep the lights on and you get your name and the credits and, yeah, a big thank you at the same time. So, anyway, I digress, let's get back into the episode.

Speaker 1: 3:23

So, me being honest and open, for the last four years, when trying to build this lifestyle that I want, you know I stepped away from the corporate life to build a lifestyle that I wanted. Some of that, I didn't know what it meant. Every year it becomes clearer and clearer and I have more and more conviction of what it is that I want. And there have been so many highlights. I've shared a lot of those highlights. I continue to share those highlights. But there have been so many downs, like so many lows, which maybe haven't been shared as much, but I do try to bring them out here in the podcast.

Speaker 1: 3:55

It's a bit of a venting session, I guess, but they're all relevant because I think we all go through these things and there are moments of doubt and there are questions and worry and also the big question of what if, if it doesn't work out? And you know I've got backup plans, I've got things in place of like. You know, if this didn't work out, I've also got a big Motive, you know savings, a bit of an emergency fund that I've been saving up for nine years of working to be able to take this leap. I never had to get into that, but that's not the point. The point is there still does the scare, that, the doubt and the worry, and I want to make sure that people know that it's okay to feel this way. It's okay to you know you have this occur, but we need to deal with it, and I wanted to talk about some of the things that I've been working on to deal with it in the last couple of weeks, as I've been feeling it quite a lot and I feel like the pressure builds up every year because I have success each year and I'm proud of what I've achieved, but then, when things aren't going as you planned even if it's a day, a week, two weeks, you start to it gets a bit scary right. So I want to share with you what are the things that I'm leveraging, that I go to, that I check in with To help get my headspace back in check, and I think these are all relevant things for you, and the first one is zoom out, and, as cliche as this sounds, you need to find a mechanism away, a space tool, something that enables you to zoom out now.

Speaker 1: 5:24

The best way for me to zoom out because I'm talking purely around my business at this point Is I've been tracking my data since I started the business and I've now been able to build a tool that shows me where I'm at Today. That is compared to each week from the last previous three years, and how does that compare? Am I above those? Am I above the average of those as well? And I've got that on a number of different KPIs around revenue, sales and also P. I haven't got a focus on profit, because I'm not focusing on profit at this point. I'm focusing on bringing people into the business, like customers, and I've been able to build that tool. But my point here for you is whether this is for sport or exercise or whether it's for you making progress.

Speaker 1: 6:08

The best way that you can zoom out and look is one if you've got something to be able to look at of where you've come from. Maybe you keep a diary, maybe you keep a journal, maybe you do record, keep things, or maybe you know you can go through your high I mean your highlight reel. You can go through your photos on your phone, jump back a year, two years, five years, ten years, and have a look at what you were doing. Go back onto your Facebook feed and have a look at what you were doing, zoom out and then start to compare of where you were today versus where you were Five, ten years ago, two years ago, a year ago, and you can start to see. I'm pretty sure you'll be pretty happy where things are at. You know, there's not going to be perfect areas everywhere in your life. There's going to be ups and downs that you can trade off around. All well, back then I had this, but actually now I've got that and how far you've come and I think if you're not doing this, you need to write. Get on, it works for me. But if you want to be able to look back you know in two, five years from now to look back to now you need to start documenting it some way might be just taking a bit of a journal, a bit of a diary, or just writing something down or tracking your data. Obviously there's apps for this. If you're doing running, looking back where you were two years ago compared to now.

Speaker 1: 7:22

The problem is we get so focused on today that we forget about you know where we've come from in the last one year. It's like when I put stuff on YouTube I get so stuck on people Giving me one negative comment opposed to the hundred that have given me positive, right. So we need to change our perspective. So zoom out and actually see is it really that bad? How does it compare to everything else that you'd be doing in that domain of what you're zooming out for? Number two is ask, ask the questions of these am I doing anything different? Like in this moment, if things are feeling, you know, you're a bit worried, you're a bit concerned, things aren't going to plan, ask yourself Is what I'm doing today is, am I actually doing anything different? Right, and maybe that's a reason why things are feeling uncomfortable. Because you're uncomfortable, you're out of your comfort zone.

Speaker 1: 8:10

Speaking to myself here, the other thing to think about is what has changed internally and externally. Now again, I'm looking at this from the lens of a business, but you know there's things that are in my control versus not in my control. There's things that I'm doing internally in the business versus the stuff that's happening externally, outside of the business. Meaning, if prices are going up because of Postage or whatever, I can't control that and it's an external factor. But internally, how am I managing that right? Have I changed anything internally? Have I taken on more risk? Have I taken on more cost? Have I made bad decisions? Versus? Are they things that are just I've had to adapt to and figuring it out as I go. So I think you need to ask yourself that question.

Speaker 1: 8:47

The next thing is what can I control the things that are going wrong at the moment, the things that you're worried about, the things that you're stressing about, the things that You're doubting? Can you control them? If you can't, you've got to find a way to manage it, like deal with it and move on, because if you can't control it, there's no point worrying about it. And then the other question which you've got to be open with is can I be doing something better? Is there something I can be doing better? A lot of the time, the doubt comes from the byproduct, I believe, from guilt, because you feel bad that you haven't done something, and then you start to stress. But you can leverage that to be able to get yourself back into gear. If you're not seeing results, do something that's going to give you results. Simple, if you're doing things that don't give you results, maybe those things you shouldn't be doing. Just saying I'm speaking to myself here.

Speaker 1: 9:42

Number three is escape the noise. Now, this is not directed at anyone, but you know, when we take on the role of trying to become a better version of ourselves and we're not seeing results, there is this. As we know, is that level and challenge of post-synchrome of doubt, fear, worry, la, la la la, and we fall in the trap of comparing ourselves to others, looking at their timeline or where they are at this point in time, or why can't I be as good as them? That's irrelevant. They are irrelevant because unless you guys have done exactly the same things, there's nothing to compare by. I've done a whole episode on this. You know, the only person you can compare to is yourself, by looking back at how far you've come.

Speaker 1: 10:23

But to get away from that noise, you need to find a way to get away from it. For me, I go for a run. For me, running clears my head. It gives me that space to deal with whatever I'm needing to deal with, and I'm listening to music or I'm, you know, listening to a book or whatever. The other thing that you can do is find a mentor, someone that can give you a fresh perspective. It might be outside of your domain of where you're working. It could be in the same domain of where you know these problems and issues and things that you're worried about are occurring. But find someone that you can talk to and you can work with them and make sure they understand that they know what their role is. You know, don't just start offloading all your problems on other people for them to then fill overwhelm themselves. Make sure they know what they're signing up for as well. Hence a mentor. You need to get that fresh perspective.

Speaker 1: 11:14

Now there are some other things that we can refer to, and I just did a quick little search. You know I can't really speak on these. I've literally gone to the internet and pulled this information out. Just to give some alternative points, maybe from what we can find on the internet, and the first one is from it's actually from the book Mansearch for Meaning by Victor Frankel, and this is what it goes to say between stimulus and response there is a space in that. A space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom, and I think what he's talking about here is like even in the moments of suffering or doubt or fear or worry. By focusing on what truly matters to us, we can find the strength to overcome those challenges. And I think that's really good, because you know for me, when I'm running and I'm doing, you know, a long run and it's dark in terms of its struggle. We have to focus on the things that matter to us, focus on why we're doing it, why do we sign up for this in the first place, and then we can find the strength to overcome those challenges. So I think that's something really important to come back to.

Speaker 1: 12:20

The other one was I think it's from a book called Meditations by Marcus Arute A Lewis I could be saying his name wrong, probably am. I apologize, mate, whoever you are and he goes on to say you have the power of your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength again. If this is encouraging individuals to focus on what they can control, such as their thoughts, such as their actions, rather than the external circumstances, and by cultivating our inner resilience or clarity, we can then navigate through that doubt more effectively. Now, I also understand that this is all very easy, said and done, true, but that's why I'm sharing it, because some of this will stick different to everyone.

Speaker 1: 13:06

The next one, which is atomic habits, which is a really, really good book. I have read this book by James Clear. It's basically talking about you know proven ways to build good habits and break bad ones, but he presents practical strategies in this book around building habits that support personal growth and success, and it helps us read, as, I guess, overcome how to you know how to overcome procrastination, self doubt and other obstacles along the way. So that could be a key one for you as well, and I guess really the whole key message of this is the importance of reflection, the importance of action and the importance of self care in managing our doubt and maintaining our mental well being. Now I want to turn this upside down a little bit.

Speaker 1: 13:51

There is one more element that I wanted to leave to the end because I didn't want to be too frank, but it is some tough love and again, I'm talking to myself here because that's the whole reason I'm doing this episode but it's very relevant to other people, I think. I think it is and that is complacency. I think complacency is the killer of what makes I think, sorry. I think complacency is the killer of success, because we become too comfortable and in which it causes our results to not go in the direction we want because we slow down. Now, there's nothing wrong with slowing down.

Speaker 1: 14:23

What I'm talking about is we become slack or we become lazy, and we can't become complacent with ourselves, in the sense of like, if you want something, you can't expect to do nothing and then it to arrive. So when we bring doubt into this conversation, when we become too comfortable, we slow down, which means naturally, the results slow down, the progress slows down. Therefore, we don't see the results. Therefore, we start to have this willingness or this motivation to move forward, but then we also start to doubt that it's even working, because we're not. We feel like we're doing stuff, but we're not actually doing anything that's meaningful. So when? And then we're not seeing the results that should be coming from that meaningful work, and then we don't get anything and it becomes this cycle or a trap, cycle of a trap.

Speaker 1: 15:13

So I think some ways we can combat this is briefly, set some stretch goals, some things that are going to get you out of your comfort zone, but it's somewhat realistic and something that we can strive for, like this year I've, rather than setting this is how much money. I want to earn it's. I've built some stretch goals. I've got this is the amount that aiming for this and then I'm aiming for that and I'm also trying to be bullish in creating not just money but creating something that is a lifestyle. So it's stretching me in a different way.

Speaker 1: 15:41

The next way is to embrace continuous learning. We need to find ways to excite ourselves with knowledge, with skills and experiences and find ways to scratch that itch. So being willing to open ourselves to continuous learning, I think, is absolutely crucial for this part as well. Seeking feedback and accountability, again whether it's through friends, family, mentors, peers, whatever, find some way to get a feedback loop and to hold yourself accountable. Constructive criticism and accountability can actually help you identify areas for improvement and stay motivated, more than probably a lot of the other ways, because we're putting our brand or our dignity on the line.

Speaker 1: 16:19

I guess One way is to embrace the change and adaptability. When things aren't going to plan and we have to adjust. How do we do that? In our own way, that we feel in control and, if we can embrace it, be flexible with it and be open to working through that on our own terms, you'll find that it's a lot easier to do. I think the other thing is we need to be celebrating progress on an ongoing basis and don't worry about the perfection, because it will never be perfect, because it's impossible. But as you make progress, as you hit milestones, as you tick off things that are a win, celebrate and that will help give you that extra motivation.

Speaker 1: 16:55

But I think, at the end of the day, it all really comes down to two things is reflecting on a regular basis. If you're not reflecting, you can't identify where things are lacking. Therefore, it makes it very hard to improve, which we spoke about at the start. But I think we also need to make sure we're continuously challenging our comfort zones, bringing out opportunities that step us out of our norm and enable us to take one step further into something which is being able to create ourselves as a greater version. Because if you're not, well then how do you expect to ever not be complacent? Because if we're just complacent, we will just dwindle and become irrelevant.

Speaker 1: 17:31

Now, I'm not saying here you have to be the next biggest influencer, you have to be loud, you have to be a public eye. None of that. What I'm saying is, if you want to be the better version of yourself. If you want to further your lifestyle, you have to challenge your comfort zone and you need to reflect on a regular basis. Those are the two big key takeaways from this. Yeah, that's what I got for you.

Speaker 1: 17:52

So if you enjoyed this, reach out, leave a comment like subscribe, hit me up, let's continue the conversation. Give me the feedback. I really appreciate it. If you do want to become one of the sponsors of this podcast, by all means, you can do that too. You don't have to. I'm going to be here every week. I'm going to be having the conversation with you regardless, and I enjoy these conversations and I hope this has been of something of value to you. For me, this is really good Like I feel great now being able to talk about it, just offloaded, but there's a lot of things here that I've had to learn in the last couple of weeks, just because there's been a lot that's been going on and we have to deal with it. If you don't deal with it, it's very hard to move forward. So that's my message to you Appreciate you being here. You have a wonderful day, cheers.