EP. 150 - Ask Yourself Why and Who For? | Further Your Lifestyle Podcast

Speaker 1: 0:00

Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the further your lifestyle podcast conversations on lifestyle passions and hustles. My name's Chris, I am your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 150 today, which is boom, a new milestone, and each episode is a new milestone, but again I like to celebrate these little wins because it's a reflection that I've been able to be consistent. It's exciting to be able to share 150 episodes with you all and I appreciate each and every single one of you, whether you've been here since episode number one, whether you've come in halfway, or whether you're joining today, or maybe by the time you're listening to this, maybe in the future I'm up to a way further episode and you've come back to here, here and you've found us at episode 150. It really means the world to me and thank you for being here.

Speaker 1: 0:45

Today's episode is it's a big one, it's a deep one, and we're talking about the big why. Why do we do it For? Who are we doing it for? For what are we doing it for and for when are we doing it for? And that's this week's episode. It's going to be quite a deep one and we're going to have to ask ourselves some big questions. So, before we get into it, let's roll the intro. So you're going to ask yourself this why do you do it, what you do, the things that you do, whether it's your career, whether it's your ambitions, whether it's your goals, whether it's your intentions why do you do it? Who are you doing it for? What are you doing it for and when are you doing it for? And it really comes down to more of a why or more of a when. So sometimes we do things because it's going to enable us later down the line, but sometimes we do things for the short term or sometimes we just do things because we think it's going to get us something that is going to give us all the answers, all the results now, and that's really what we're getting into today.

Speaker 1: 1:52

I want to start off with this prompt have you ever paused to wonder why you do the things that you do, who are you doing them for and what drives these actions? And let's dive into these questions. So it's a very complex understanding, because it's going to be different for you, it's going to be different for me, it's going to be different for someone else that we ask walking down the street, and I think a lot of it comes down to. Maybe it's how we've been molded, how we've grown up, our experiences as we've grown up, our education, where we've come from, what culture we were brought up into as well. There's so many different things and I'm here to say, firstly, that any of this is why you do this or who are you doing it for. It's not necessarily wrong, right? I'm really just wanting to invite the conversation, to encourage you and to help you. Just think outside, maybe what we've always thought, because when we understand things from a fresh perspective or we put some mirrors up and we're able to reflect on it, we can start to see them from a different perspective and understand if this is actually really what we wanted. That's all we're trying to achieve here the why behind our actions.

Speaker 1: 2:58

Now, I think anytime we do something, it's very important to understand our agenda. Sometimes that agenda can be hidden, but I think there's a significance in understanding our personal why. Because when we have a sense of purpose, when we understand why we are doing it, we can really make sure we're putting our full intention to it. Because, also, we can understand is this something that we actually want, or we're doing it because we're being forced into it. It could be situational. Maybe you've been put into a tight situation where you've lost money and now you have to work an extra job in order to just pay back that bill or to get passed and make sure you're able to pay and make yourself in a position where you're able to feed yourself healthy, put a roof over your head or your family right, and that might be the reason or why you're doing it. The other reason why might be because you don't want something. You really don't want that. Therefore, I'm going to do this instead, and that comes down to a motivation tactic around push and pull. Sometimes we're either trying to do something to push something away or we're trying to pull closer to something else, and again, that could be your why. I don't have the answer for this. I don't have the answer of what is your why or why you do it, but there's going to be a number of different reasons of why we do things. Is it part of our decisions we've made previously, or maybe it's helping shape our decisions, of what we're doing at the moment and our life path? I think when we reflect on why we do what we do, it's more of a introspection like it's about uncovering our core motivations, and when we explore that you can start to learn a lot about yourself.

Speaker 1: 4:34

When I first started working oh sorry, when I was in university I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I was doing it originally wanted to do game design, and then I realized I started to like all the business analytical side of things, because I am a bit more of a thinker and I do like numbers, but I'm just not really. I'm not not a math kind of guy and I wasn't really good at developing video games or coding. So that's where I moved into that area. And then, when I got my first job, I actually did some internships and I got some opportunities in the consulting workspace. I started to realize that that's what I was interested in.

Speaker 1: 5:05

But then there was roles of more technical space which I soon realized I don't like this and I moved out of that and I moved into a job called PMO, which is the project management office, and that became about more about working with people to achieve a common set of goals, which is very much like a business, but we were managing the people coming into, whether it's the client or the project, but we were managing all the risks or the governments, or the processes, the onboarding of people. And then we started to work on the budgets and start to work on the finances, like the accounting of the project and Dealing with the issues, problem-solving, ensuring that everyone's able to move forward in a common standard, while also managing all the top level and management stuff as well, and I started to realize this is what I like. I really enjoy this. I thought I was gonna be a lifer at that job, had aspirations to. I wanted to be a manager a certain level and then get to Managing director at a certain level. And all these ambitions and we do. We have these ambitions. We.

Speaker 1: 6:03

I knew what my wife why was I doing it there? Because and this is what I used to say to myself is I want to do this, I want to work for this long and earn this amount of money, and that way I'll be able to Leave the job and then go do whatever I want to do. That was my intention and it worked really well. While working there, I was able to build up a huge share portfolio. I was able to purchase a couple of rental properties and really create a nice income stream around Savings as well, but also just a moat to protect myself Financially, which is why I was able to. Then, when I realized that that's actually not what I want, but I actually now want the freedom of time, but to be able to have my own business as well that's when I realized, well, all those things have been so important to enabling me to do that, because it meant I could step away Easier than if I had all these other issues that I had to solve for. So that's why I was doing it originally. But now, why am I building my own business? Because I want to create a lifestyle that suits me. I've been a builder business. That isn't a job. I want to build a business that I'm able to be an owner for and have other people work in and and give me the freedom to be able to work on other projects and other ambitions and other things. So that's that's my why.

Speaker 1: 7:11

So you need to explore what is your why and why you do what you do. And the next one, or the next question is around the who is it for ourselves or we doing it for others? Now, I don't think there's Necessarily anything wrong with doing things for others, but we need to be careful that we're not just doing to please others. When we do things for ourselves, it might be selfish, but when we do things for others, it might be Selfless in the sense that we're not looking after ourselves. So there is a level of this balance that we need to have around self motivation, but also in external influence as well, because if we do things to prove ourselves to other people or to people please, that's dangerous waters, because we can get caught up in not doing the best thing for you, but doing it thinking it was the best thing for that audience, and that's that's not the right way to approach it, because you'll soon realize you'll get burnt out.

Speaker 1: 8:03

It's like why one of the reasons why I left the job I did because I realized I wasn't doing anything for me. All I was doing was building someone else's dream and they controlled me, loved the job, loved the people, loved the money, but it didn't align with who I was doing it for. It became less about me and more about pleasing all these other people, and the prompts that I'll give you to think about is are we driven by personal goals or are we influenced by the expectations of others? And understanding the who in our decisions can be enlightening. It Can be quite revealing when we start to realize everything that we're doing is based off someone else's agenda, or based off someone else's idea, or based off someone else's influence. Again, I can't answer this for you, but the whole point of this is to ask you who are you doing it for now? At the moment, we're generalizing, talking about career, we're talking about what job you're working, but I'm talking about all areas of life.

Speaker 1: 8:57

Why do we do YouTube? Why do we go over there? Why do we play basketball? Why do we spend time with this? Why do we spend time there? Your ambition, your goals, why do we try to strive to get a house? Why do we strive to be married at this time? Why do we strive to be all these different things? Is it coming from someone else? Is it coming from our own heart? Is it coming from a buildup of just people saying this is what everyone does? So, therefore, this is what you should do too Understanding.

Speaker 1: 9:21

That will give you a huge revelation in helping you dictate what happens next, which kind of leads to section number three, which is the what, and this is purpose and goals, and I think there's a very clear, clear Importance of understanding and having very clear goals, but also understanding the purpose around those. This is coming down to the why behind our actions, but I think the what is the meat of it? Right, so, when we understand what we want, right, so we're. Why am I doing it? Because I want this right, and that's why we're able to identify short-term and long-term goals as well. And when we Can identify what we're working towards, it helps shape our journey and the prompt around this is Identifying what we're working towards is crucial. It shapes our journey, it gives meaning to our efforts and it gives us the clarification of what right.

Speaker 1: 10:11

So my question to you is like why? So yes, you're doing all these things, we know why we're doing it, but what are the things you actually want? Right, because you need to have those two together in the formula to ensure you are actually working towards a purposeful or a purpose of life. Right, if you're just doing it because oh, because he said so like, what sense is that? Like, are you doing it to please someone else, or are you doing it to because you have no other idea? But when we actually break down, what do we want? What is the purpose of us doing this and that's the why we actually start to realize what is important to us, right, and it's why I'm very clear and very out front around.

Speaker 1: 10:53

I'm not building a business that's going to solve my problems in one year, because I don't think that's feasible, I don't think that's sensible. I'm building a business over the next two, five and 10 years. I'm doing things today that should help me in the next three to five years as I continue to scale, and that's really what I want. I want to create something which is, I know, is going to take a lot of time, but it's going to shape into something beautiful that enables me for my short term, but also for my long term goals as well. So when you can clarify that, what then? It makes a huge difference. It's something that I was really challenged by a good mate, paul. He asked me how much money do you want to earn? And it was a very hard question to answer and I'm not necessarily going to say, hey, let's all share how much money we want to earn, but it really helps us determine our perspective of money or how we, I guess, represent money. Do we think it's dirty? Do we think it's good? Do we think it should be openly given to us.

Speaker 1: 11:50

Now, when I was working in a consulting firm, I was earning a good amount of money. I was earning around $160,000. So that's like my bar, that's what I've got things to compare to. But then I was like, well, that was great, but there's other things that I probably wanted to be able to do of all that as well. So then we started talking about other numbers, what would be a number that I'm happy with Now, right now, it meant that my business was able to earn me a certain amount of money. Let's just say $250,000. I'll probably be happy with it.

Speaker 1: 12:18

But I think we also need to understand that when we earn or when we hit a goal, when we hit a number, when we achieve a result, all of a sudden there becomes a bigger one. There's always something next. So we do need to understand why we're doing things and what is the actual goal. Is it monetary? Maybe Is it a level of status? Maybe Is it a certain stat, maybe Is it a level of influence? Is it to be able to leave a legacy? Is it to be able to have your time of freedom? I don't know what it is for you. You need to answer it, but you need to clarify what, what is the what and what is the purpose with those goals.

Speaker 1: 12:57

And then I was talking about long term, short term, which is section number four, which is the when, timing and circumstances. I think we really need to understand how we time these things and the circumstances around that, because they're all going to play a big part in our decisions and in our actions. We need to explore the when we do things, as it can be super important just as much as why we do things, who we do things for and what are the things we're doing Right. So the prompt I want to ask you on this one is timing can be everything. How does when factor into our decisions and motivations? So we need to examine what is the impact of timing on our actions.

Speaker 1: 13:35

So sometimes there's so many things that are like. A good example of this is so many things I want to be doing this year. There's so many things I wanted to be doing over the last couple of years is podcasts, for instance, my YouTube, my business, but then there's a small other little hobbies that I want to dabble in the Pokemon stuff. There's a few other things which I haven't really revealed to anyone I want to work on, but I've had to shelve those because I don't necessarily have the time and space to be able to apply myself to them At the fullest extent, to give them the time they deserve, to give them the passion they deserve. So there's things, that which it's not in the right time.

Speaker 1: 14:10

But then there's also this relevancy of like I'm doing things today, hoping and knowing or working towards something that's one, two, five, three, 10 years down the line, and when I have that understanding that timing helps me be mindful of like I'm not trying to get my 10 year result tomorrow or in a month, I'm trying to get my 10 year result over a long period of time, over that 10 years. If I can do it quicker, even better. But knowing that I'm not playing this short term, I'm playing it for the long term. So since it's early days into my, I guess, in my journey of taking a chance on myself, I will take a bit more risk. I will try a few more things. I'll be willing to test and double new things or be open to trying or new opportunities, because I have a lot of time to be able to figure this out.

Speaker 1: 14:59

But then there's other things that I know that are working and other things that if I'm like, if I can just continue to do this consistently, do it better, do it quicker, do it faster and do it with less of me, it's going to be very, very rewarding over a 10 year period. So that's why it's very important we understand about timing when is the right time to do things? Does this make sense to be doing today? Is this something for a short term goal or is this part of a long term goal? Is that part of a one year plan, a two year plan, five year plan? And look, I understand that that can sound very overwhelming of like Chris, I don't even have a one year plan. I don't even know what I'm doing next month. Well, that's why we're going through this of understanding.

Speaker 1: 15:35

When we do have all these understandings of why are we doing things, what are we doing it for, who are we doing it for? When are we doing it for? We can start to really take a better understanding of what we want right and does it make sense to do it today? The other question you can ask yourself am I doing something today that is going to get me closer to the goal that I want in 30 days, 100 days, one year, two years, whatever it is right, and that really then challenges you, because if you're not doing things today that gets you closer to where you want to be, you need to ask well, when is that goal? Is this even what you want and why are you doing it? Okay, so, we've discussed a lot here quite overwhelming, I believe it can be quite overwhelming with all this information coming in, but I think it's important that you take a moment self-reflects.

Speaker 1: 16:20

If you need to come back and re-listen to this, if you need to come back and take some more notes, do it. I encourage you, though, to take some time to self-reflect on your own motivations. What do you want, and I'll leave you this think about your own, why, your own who, your own what, and your own when. And when you understand these aspects, you can profoundly impact how much you navigate your life, because you start to realize it's becoming more of a other people driver rather than you driving your seat. Are you a passenger or are you a driver? Are you the one on the wheel or are you just sitting in there along for the ride and just doing what you're told?

Speaker 1: 17:01

That is the difference here, and that is why it's so important and I keep in challenging you with this is to have a conversation about this. Doesn't have to be with me you can reach out to me if you want but have a conversation about this with yourself and then find someone that you can talk to about. It Might be your best mate, your husband or wife, or your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, or just a really good friend or someone that's outside of your current domain, to keep you honest and understand where you sit with all these areas your who, your what, your when, your hows right, because when you understand all those different things, it makes a huge change on your next step forward. But if we're never stopping and slowing down and actually understanding all these things, you might have spent one year doing something for the wrong reasons and it's better to find out today. It's better to find out in one year than 10 years. But the point is, the sooner you have this conversation, the sooner you can break free some of the things that aren't necessarily what you want for your life, and that is how you further your lifestyle Right. Really do appreciate being here Again.

Speaker 1: 18:02

If you think this is something that is of value to you, leave a like. If you're here on the YouTube for the first time, hit subscribe. Leave a comment. If you're here new or old, or whether you've only listened to a couple, leave a comment. Let me know what you thought of this episode. But my biggest request would be, if you enjoyed this and you think someone else can resonate from it, share it with them. Send them a message, say, hey, go check out this.

Speaker 1: 18:24

I think it's something you need to hear of where you're at in life, or this is super relevant to you because XYZ, let them know why and challenge them to listen to it. It's not about me. It's about helping other people further their lifestyles and with you, I can do that right. With you, you can help other people make a change in their life, but, of course, make sure you keep yourself accountable and look after yourself and what you're doing to make your life the best life that you want or to further your lifestyle. Appreciate you being here. You have a wonderful day. Cheers. Please subscribe and turn on notifications.