Exploring the Paradoxes of Life

Speaker 1 0:00

Yo yo yo . Welcome back to the Fidlia Lifestyle podcast Conversations on Lifestyle Passions and Hustles . My name's Chris , I am your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you . Episode 126 today we're talking about the paradoxes of life . Now I've been browsing into it over the last couple of weeks as I've been trying to build out some additional content and different , I guess , types of content for the podcast .

Speaker 1 0:26

Now I've been doing a few kind of like reaction pieces or just going through different things that I found on the internet and kind of sharing them with you and going through them with you , and I think it's a great way to gain fresh perspective . Obviously , we can't believe in , you know , agree with everything we see on the internet . I mean , here's me sharing things on the internet as well , and you're listening to me . We need to form our own opinion or take our own perspective from it . But I think it's a great way to challenge the way we think , to challenge the way we look at things from what we always thought was just our own way . So for me , I have found taking this exercise quite well , because a lot of the time I find things I don't necessarily read them or go through them in such detail . But going through them with you and sharing them with you , I think I'm learning , I think you're learning and we can all look about how we can further our lifestyle together . So today I found a few they're mixed messages of different paradoxes of life and , I bet I guess , different ways that we can explore and look at growing ourselves , and I think it's a fun way . So I've got I think there might be 15 of them here or so , I can't remember how many there was , but I've written them down and jotted a few things and I wanna take them through . I wanna go through them with you and I'll kinda have a reaction . I'll talk about them a bit and if you wanna share a comment along the way , by all means jump down below . If you're here on the YouTube , leave a comment , otherwise you know you can reach out afterwards and let's continue the conversation . So that's what we're getting into today .

Speaker 1 1:53

Let's dive in . So the first one , the first paradox of life , is the more you want something , the less likely you are to have it . I don't necessarily agree with that . I don't know what it's saying . Let's see . So it says this speaks to the idea that intense desire can sometimes cloud our judgment or put too much pressure on the situation , reducing our chances of success . Ah , yes , okay , so this is a good , yeah , okay . So this is like when you set a goal , new year's resolution . It's like I'm gonna lose 20 kilos this year , and you're so fixated on the 20 kilos that you start and you're pushing so hard and you're not seeing the progress that you think , nah , it's too hard . So you start to , you know , push yourself away , or you start to say this is too hard or this is impossible , but you've only been doing it for a couple of weeks out of 52 weeks . So , you know , you reduce your chance to be able to succeed cause you're not motivated . So I think sometimes , coming back to you know , systems , processes and goals and things , we need to have those things in place to enable ourselves to actually make sure that what we do want is going to succeed , rather than just , you know , putting pressure on ourselves to get it . That's the way I take this , or the way I understand it , anyway .

Speaker 1 3:09

Paradox number two that I found here was the less you care about others , the less you care about yourself , the less you care . Look , I think there's a well , we're sorry . If we're talking about pure care , then yes , being able to put yourself in other people's shoes , have an understanding and show empathy to others is very key , because if you can't do that for others , how are you going to do it for yourself ? At the same time , I know that I'm very good at talking with other people I think I am anyway but I'm not very good at talking to myself and telling me the same advice . So this goes on to say that this suggests that empathy and care for others is linked to our own self-care and self-esteem . Yeah , I agree , but at the same time , I also find that I try to fix my own problems by fixing other people's problems . So that you know , that's another whole issue on itself , but I can understand this . You know , before we can love others , we need to love ourselves . I think we do need to get in touch with this one quite a lot .

Speaker 1 4:08

The next paradox that I have here is the more you fear a negative , the less likely it is that the positive will manifest . Yeah , so when we surround ourselves with negativity , when we look for negativity , when we talk negative , when we , you know , embrace negativity , that's all we're going to see , that's all we're going to live . It's like you know , it's all . If you , that's all you're going to eat , that's all , you're going to poop as well , right ? So I think we need to bring in the power of positivity and make sure we are taking a positive approach to things , looking at things from a positive perspective , because when we have excessive worry or excessive fear , that actually sometimes forces us to put ourselves in a brain space or a headspace that's leading us to that outcome , right ? So if you do not have a positive mindset , a positive focus that you're working towards , then you know you're less likely to achieve it because you're so focused on the negative . If you look for it , that's what you will find , right ? So I think this one's a very important thing the more you fear a negative , the less likely is that positive will manifest . So you will need to be looking for the positive and less of the fear . Now , I also understand that there is a level of element to fueling from fear , right . So if your fear of failing , use that as your advantage , but that's not speaking negatively , or that's not thinking negatively . So I think , yeah , let's not get confused here .

Speaker 1 5:37

So the next one paradox is , what did I find here ? The more concerned you are about a problem , the less connected you become to the solution . I mean , this sounds like pretty much the same . What does it say ? So this suggests that focusing too much on a problem can blind us from the potential solutions ? Yeah , I think . You know I tend to do this . You know paralysis by analysis . You know just looking at things too much and I sometimes forget to step away . Walk away . You know , take a break . And I think this is super crucial when you're trying to solve a problem and you're not making progress . Go , do something else , step away , take a break , clear the head , and that will enable you to come back with fresh perspective . So many times I spent , you know , hours trying to do something . I've walked away for 30 minutes , gone do something else , come back and boom instantly , just on the ball . You see it straight away . So I think that's important , because it's also a big tell of you getting burnt out . You're tired , you're exhausted and I think , I think this this speaks true the more concerned you are about a problem , the less connected you've been with the solution . So when we can start to bring that balance together , then we will find the answer .

Speaker 1 6:41

Next paradox is the less you trust something , the more untrustworthy it becomes . Well , of course , but I think what it's kind of saying is like how , as our perception changes , it shapes our experience with people . And it's not even stated , it's unstated expectations , I like If you don't trust something , naturally it becomes untrustworthy . It doesn't mean you're thinking they're untrustworthy , it's just because you're not building that trust with them . So it's kind of like that positive reinforcement . But I think there's also a bit of a catch here , because that it almost sounds like a default mechanism where , okay , so if you don't like them , does that mean you hate them ? So look , I think this one's a little interesting . I mean , I also understand , like , if you don't build trust , then how can you trust ? But it doesn't mean it makes someone untrustworthy . So I'm not too sure about this . And what do you think on this one ?

Speaker 1 7:36

The next one is the more you learn , the more you realize how little you know . Yes , yes , we've spoken about this numerous times . You don't know what you don't know , and it's the pursuit of knowledge , right ? We think we've got it all figured out . You know right now . What I know is this like it's a tip of an iceberg right , you can see the tip and everything underneath is what I know . But there's all the rest of the pie , like , if I'm just a chunk of a pie , right , there's still all the other unknown . But you don't know that unknown until you know it . And then when you know it , all of a sudden you're like whoa right , it's game changing , right ? Think about when a kid learned something for the first time all of a sudden , their life changes , that's . We still have those moments as adults . So I think this one , this one's really important . And don't think , just because you're at a certain age , oh yeah , you've got experience , I know what that means , I've got it all figured out . No , there is so much to learn . This is really true .

Speaker 1 8:31

The next one is the more complete you feel through someone or something , the less complete you feel from . Yeah , we can't feel the void with other people or other things , because it's just filling a void of nothing , right , because it's a fake void . Feel fake , you're fake . Feeling right . That's what I meant to say , and what I mean by this is so the best way we can find fulfillment , or I think that we can find contentment , is from ourselves , from within , if you can't bring your own happiness and you're only relying on external sources or people , then you have a problem , because it's almost like you're reliant on other things , you're not self-reliant , and oh look , I'm not saying this is easy either Like we need to learn to be able to be independent and find happiness by ourselves . But that can become a bit of a dangerous game when we start to only fill the joy if we have , you know , if we are attached to something else , and that attachment is unhealthy when you have that attachment , so definitely one that we need to really

Key Concepts for Personal Growth

Speaker 1 9:37

be mindful of .

Speaker 1 9:37

I think the next one is the more you're afraid to fail , the more likely art of how , I don't know , I think . I think we can leverage this to fuel ourselves , but at the same time , you don't want to get stuck in thinking about the failure , because then you spend more time working on the failure , like , oh , how am I going to get through ? How am I going to get through it ? How am I going to get through it , rather than actually working on the things that actually avoid it anyway . So that that's probably where it is Like , when you're so focused on the failure because you're afraid of it , then , yeah , you're more likely to because you're not doing other things . That's going to enable you to actually mitigate it in the first place . So , yet , understand that the fail is yeah , use that as a fuel , start working towards what is going to mitigate it , rather than , oh , it's bad , but what about this ? But what about that ? What are you doing , right ? Yeah , I think this one's important Gaining control lies in your ability to let go of it .

Speaker 1 10:38

So this is saying that true control comes from being able to relinquish it , possibly in terms of control over oneself . So if you can let something go , you now have control of it , because it does not control you . That's deep . It's interesting , though , because , look , I can look in my room and see it , but you can see behind me , I've got a lot of material things like you know , stuff , collections . I've got race medals , I've got video game stuff , things that have some level of resemblance of something to me . I'm attached to them , but , you know , do they control me or do I control them ? Now , they're a piece of something or a memory , but if I got rid of them , it doesn't mean that I'm getting rid of the memory , just means it doesn't have a hold on me . That's interesting . It's interesting , that's a deep one . That's the oh , it's Jeepers . It's making me think .

Speaker 1 11:34

The next one is the more you try to impress people , the less impressed they'll be . Yeah , I find that when we try too hard , that's when we usually end up , you know , making a mistake . You need to be authentic , we need to be who we are , we need to be ourselves , and that way people will love us , for us , not for something that we're trying to be or faking to be . And when we're authentic , we're more impressive and we can be valued for who we are , not for this idea of what we possibly could be . And keeping up the act . That's hard work . So definitely agree with this one .

Speaker 1 12:07

The next one is the more available something is , the less you will want it . Yeah , that's true , you know . Look , this comes back to the whole conversation around supply versus demand . And you know , when something's rare , everyone wants it because there's only limited amount of them . But when there's lots of them , it's like , ah , yeah , every Tom Dick and Harry has it , but it's all psychological , right ? Um ? But I think we realize that at the moment , if there's lots of it , we think , ah , yeah , yep , it's all good , not important to me , and then all of a sudden it's gone . So , oh , I should've got it , should've got it right . How many times have you done that ? I've done that so many times . So I think it's an interesting concept that we need to be understanding of , especially the perception of value , so one to challenge us all on definitely challenges me .

Speaker 1 12:49

The only certainty is that nothing is ever certain . Yeah , life is , I guess it's unpredictable and can change at any point , which is scary . But when you accept that , then it's okay . I mean , think about , you know , when we had covered , no one saw that coming . Like you know , we were living high life , corporate , like for me , I was in corporate at the time and , you know , doing your job , and you know , my biggest problem was , you know , work . And then cover came and we went about to do this we had to get , we went into lockdown here in Melbourne , australia , we All these different things happen and took over our lives . And then all of a sudden , this became this big thing , that kind of took over our lives and to control our lives . But now it's gone , no one talks about it , it's over . You know , it's been a few years and we've moved on .

Speaker 1 13:39

So what's the next thing that pops up and throws us out of you know , out of focus ? There will always be something like that . So we just got to learn to ride the roller coaster . I guess you know whether it's on a micro or a macro level . The next one is the only constant is change . Yeah , constant changes here to stay . Things will change , right , whether it's of your control or not .

Speaker 1 14:04

But just as we grow and mature and evolve as ourselves , right , we start to realize what's important to us . We start to realize what do we want , what don't we want , and that changes who we are and how we go about doing things . You know , like , what I was doing five years ago is a lot different to what I'm doing now . Two years ago , you could ask me am I going to be selling clothes as my primary category in my business ? No , I would never thought that . If you ask me five years ago , six years ago , is that I would have stepped away from my nine to five job and started doing this podcast of my own business , I would have said no , I knew I wanted that . I didn't know how that was going to happen , I just figured that it would just happen , you know , over a long period of time . You know I'd be out of quit , quit work because I got so much money and I don't have to worry about it . And it just happens .

Speaker 1 14:53

But that's a false mentality , because I had to make the change . I had to make the change to order for it to happen . You know they weren't going to fire me , and even if they did fire me , I mean that could have happened . But the idea was , if I want something , I have to . I have to do the things that it requires it to happen . And that means I had to change what I was doing in order to make that happen . Right , if you want to lose weight , you need to change something . You need to change how much time you exercise . You need to change how much time you eat , what you eat , how you spend your time , what you do . That changes is constant . But at the same time there's change that comes which isn't as we expect , as we kind of just talked about . That , you know . Certainly there's . There's no certainty in life , right , things will pop up out of nowhere . That change will always happen . So it's about what change can you control versus what can you control when a change happens . You know you won't be able to control all changes . Just that's just the way it is . How do you control the circumstances that you're in and what can you do within that ecosystem ?

Speaker 1 16:01

A lot of deep thoughts here . Let me know your feedback on these . Do you enjoy these kind of me going through , you know , whether it's 10 points , 15 points or whatever it is and expressing and sharing with you , because , for me , I enjoy it , because I feel like I'm learning something as well , but it's I think it's a great way to have a conversation . I think some of these would be really good conversations with other people as well . You know , you know back and forth of just breaking down what we think they mean , how they relevant to our lives . Obviously , our lives are all different , will a different points at life , and my encouragement to you is like go through these , listen to what we've just shared through and , you know , ask yourself the same questions , challenge yourself can you change something ? Do you agree with this ? And if you don't , why don't you agree with it and what does that mean and what does that look like ?

Speaker 1 16:43

I share these episodes because I want to help you further your lifestyle , but I'm trying to further my own as well . Now I might be further in different areas . This people are way ahead of me in other areas as well , and I think the best way to have the ability to understand how to grow is to have the conversation about it . Right is figure out what are the things we need to be doing , what are the different mindsets we need , what are the different perspective changes ? What are we valuing ? How can we change ? What can we do ? What do we have control of ? What are the different questions of that ? Right , and I like to be able to share it in this way , because it does keep it real , it keeps it authentic , it keeps it honest and it keeps it open . That's my thoughts anyway . So if you've got a paradox of life that you think is relevant to all of us , chuck it down in

Connecting, Reviewing, and Sharing Podcasts

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the comments .

Speaker 1 17:24

If you're here on the YouTube , if you're here listening by Spotify or Apple podcasts all those great places leave a review . Leave a review . And if you do have the way to be able to reach out and have a conversation with me , connect . You can drop me a message or you can even leave me a voice memo over at speakpipecom . Slash further your lifestyle . I would greatly appreciate it and , of course , if you can share these episodes to someone that you think these would resonate with , that would mean the absolute world to me as well . Appreciate you being here . You have a wonderful day , cheers .